Knocked Up
by Morphy
Summary: Triple shot -AH- Rumors usually have some truth but when Bella finds out the truth it doesnt seem to change the way she feels about the girl with spiky black hair that she'd always admired from afar   until now. Bellice, all human, A/b E/j R/em
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi:} this story started as a one-shot but it might be three chapters maybe four. I'll see how it goes after this chapter. So on with the show. **

I wanted to remember this moment the moment my heart broke. Sitting in the school cafeteria in an uncomfortable blue plastic chair. The low hum of the fluorescent lights colouring the table a dull grey. I tried to etch the faces of the people who had become my friends over the past six months into my memory. Angela, Ben, Jessica even Mike okay maybe not Mike but you know what I mean.

"Bella…Bella did you hear what I said?" Jessica shook my wrist and leaned in. "Alice Cullen is pregnant can you believe it?"

I couldn't believe it I just shook my head 'no'. Maybe it's just a rumour maybe it's not true. I mean there have been other rumours like the one about a giant wolf in the woods or the food in the cafeteria being made mostly of shredded newspaper.

"How did you find out?" I queried Jessica the gossip queen of Forks high.

"Well I heard from Lauren who heard it from her mom who's a nurse at the hospital." Jessica continued to ramble and I tuned her out trying to focus my vision on the table across the room the one in the corner that most people avoided.

The Cullen's had a reputation, not a bad one they were actually really nice but people didn't seem to see that. I think it was Edward and Jasper's relationship that bothered most and maybe it was just easier for them to keep to themselves. I could understand I didn't broadcast my own sexuality but I didn't have a girlfriend so it was easy for me. Alice took a bite from her salad and laughed at one of her brothers covering her mouth with her hand. She looked so beautiful. She didn't seem any different not that I really knew her but I picked up bits and pieces. You can learn a lot sitting behind someone in three classes and staring at the back of their head. The bell rang breaking me from my inherent staring and I scrambled a little picking up my stuff.

"Walk you to English." Angela said like usual you think after six months she would just think it was routine.

"Sure." I grabbed my binder hugging it to my chest as we walked into the corridor.

"Are you feeling okay? You seemed a little spaced at lunch." Angela spoke as we walked in step and I cursed at how perceptive she is.

"Yeah I'm just a little tired." I tried not to look at her as I lied. She made an 'hmmmm' noise and I knew she didn't believe me but it was all she's getting right now.

As we got to English Angela took her seat in the front and I walked to the back setting my stuff down and waiting for the class to start. This was one of the classes I shared with Alice and I won't lie I did get here early so I might have the chance to talk to her. Who am I kidding sometimes she says 'hi' and I forget my own name. Alice danced in the room in her usual manner smiling and shaking the little spikes of hair from her eyes. I wanted to move the hair from her eyes I wanted to be the person to do that. As she sat down today she spun around to face me and I almost fell back on my chair.

"Bella do you have a normal pen I could borrow?" She made the movement of a pen in the air and I took a minute to accept that she was indeed talking to me.

It seemed odd she said 'normal pen' what other kinds where there? "I don't know I don't usually discriminate against my pens. They're all unique in there own way." I know words came out my mouth but I have no idea what I just said.

Her green eye's lit up as she chuckled under her breath. "Okay I shouldn't discriminate against the pens sorry but do you have one?"

"Uh…Yeah." I took a spare blue pen and handed it to her she always seemed to use a blue one so I thought she might appreciate it.

"Thanks, blue is my favorite." She grinned flashing the little dimples she had.

I wanted to say 'yeah I know' but was cut off when the teacher seemed to slam the door grabbing everyone's attention. The rest of the lesson was pretty boring read this write that analyse the relationship blah blah blah.

As everyone flooded into the corridor I headed with Angela to our last class of today and I was glad to have Art as the last class so I could chill. I took my seat in the small two-person table I shared with Angela. Miss Henderson was late as usual as she barrelled in the door backwards holding a pile of papers almost as high as her chin.

"Okay today class we have a special assignment we have been asked by the principle to create some Art work for the halls. I think this is a great idea but you have to share your wall space because it's not just this class so this will be a collaborative project."

"Hey Ang, want to be my partner." I whispered, as there was a dull roar of people picking their partners.

"And! Before you all start picking your partners I have a list of who's paired with who so don't bother." Miss Henderson bowed her head to read the list and there was a collective groan. Why did teachers have to pick partners? I always ended up with some insufferable idiot and having to do most of the work. This day was turning out to be the worst day ever.

I tuned out the teacher and Angela moved to her new partners desk as I waited on my own personal hell to arrive. I continued to scrawl in my notebook some ideas because I can't draw and I don't want some ugly thing on the wall with my name attached to it. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a chair scrapping back and I lifted my head to see whom I was to work with. My eyes meet the green orbs of Alice Cullen and I swallowed the lump in my throat, which I think may have been my heart. Maybe I was closer than I thought when I said my own personal hell. It was bad enough having a crush on a straight girl but having to be so close to her knowing I can't have what I want. Well I think they call that torture.

"Hey Bella looks like we're going to be partners," Alice spoke gently.

I…I…Uh hello brain are you there? "Uh…yeah." Cool just cool of all the things I could have said looks like I'm going to be the idiot she's partnered with.

"So…what do you think we should do?" Alice asked as she clicked her pen hovering it over a blank slip of paper.

Um… "I…uh think we should…uh I don't know." I stuttered hoping the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. She looked at me and grinned a little and I wanted to face palm so bad she must think I have a stutter by now and is just to polite to say anything. Come on brain think of something witty for me to say please just this one time do me a favour.

"Well what are you good at? I prefer to draw with pencil than colour but it needs to be even. Maybe I could draw something in pencil and you could do colours?" Alice talked slowly like she was unsure if she was saying the right thing.

"Of course I'm not going to leave you with all the work. I wouldn't be a very good partner then would I? But I'm not really good at drawing and stuff I prefer photography." I rambled quickly taking in a deep gulp of air at the end.

"That's great we should go and take some pictures some time what do you like to photograph?" Alice asked leaning in slightly and I balled up a piece of paper and clutched it in my hand in an effort to stop them shaking.

"Anything really I like to take nature photos or people but not like the usual stand and pose photo's more uninhibited." I stared at my hands as I spoke, I don't know why I couldn't look at her but it made it easier to talk.

"I understand like those family photo's where everyone smiles for a split second are so fake you know the next second everyone's going to go back to arguing." Alice rambled on and it's the most I've ever heard her speak I was entranced with the sound of her voice. She spoke with such confidence and didn't use filler word like em and um.

I knew the photo's she spoke about but I didn't have one I would love to have a fake family photo where everyone's smiling and dressed up. It was all I ever wanted when I was a kid. "Yeah I know but they are like a tradition don't you have one?"

"Yeah we have loads."

"It's nice to have them to remember." I looked at the table as I spoke remembering moving around with my mom putting up the photo of her and Charlie and it would upset me when she would ask me to take it down. I didn't understand at the time.

"Don't you have any?" Alice asked quizzically.

"Not really…I don't want to talk about it. We should get back to work Miss Henderson is making the rounds." I pointed over to the teacher as she looked over people's ideas.

"Sorry I didn't mean to pry." She gave me a sad smile and I was torn between hating myself for making her sad and a little annoyed at her pity of my life.

"That's okay," I smiled back. I'm almost sure there were things she wouldn't like to talk about as well.

"I have an idea there's this great place me and my family go to play baseball sometimes and there's this great waterfall it's amazing."

"Wow that sounds great."

"Yeah maybe we can check out some other place's as well. Have you been hiking or camping in Forks yet?"

"No I haven't I'm not the best hiker, I have enough trouble with flat surfaces." I chuckled nervously but I think I'm getting better at the forming coherent sentences.

"That's okay we can take our time."

Xxx

I sat in my truck outside Alice's house it was still quite early to be up on a Saturday but I wanted to get the good light for our photos. I double-checked my bag extra batteries check food and water check. I took one last breath of the comforting mint and tobacco smell the truck seemed to come with when Charlie bought it for me. 'Okay today I'm not going to stutter and I will be calm and smart and funny' I gave myself a little pep talk before exiting into the real world.

I walked to the door but it opened before I was even near. Alice waved at me and I jogged a little coming to a standstill in front of her.

"I thought you were going to sit out there all day." Alice said taking my hand leading me inside.

I can't believe she's holding my hand. I stared at our clasped hands trying to commit the feeling to memory. I felt my lips curl into a smile until all to soon we reached the living room and she dropped my hand.

"Hey guys you know Bella." She spoke to Jasper and Edward who moved slightly away from each other on the couch as I entered the room and I felt sorry for them, I didn't want them to act like they couldn't be themselves. I waved an awkward hello as Alice took a seat and I followed beside her.

"Don't we have biology together?" Edward said clicking his fingers.

"Yeah you may remember me as the person who passed out whilst doing the blood test." I could feel my cheeks get red as I brought up a stupid embarrassing moment I should have forgotten.

They all laughed and I think I broke the ice a little. "I do remember that, but I guess a lot of people hate the sight of blood."

"It's not the sight it's the smell it's like copper and rust." A shiver ran down my spine at the mere thought of the smell.

"You can't smell blood." Jasper huffed twisting his eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah you can." Alice backed me up and I was glad. I didn't want to start an argument.

"Fine whatever you say Alice. So what do you two have planned for today?" Jasper enquired with a sly smile and Edward went back to watching the TV.

"We are going to take some photo's for a project." I patted the bag tilted up beside my leg.

"Sounds like fun, but you might want to wait till tomorrow." As he spoke Jasper pointed to the large window behind the television.

I looked to the window and little droplets of rain had started to cover the window distorting the view out the woods outside. Crap that's the worst thing about living in this place it seemed to rain every day.

"We can just wait it out see it gets better." Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Hey Bella do you want a tour?"

The nosey part of me screamed 'yes!" However I managed to contain my answer to a simple nod. We walked through the living room into the dining room and quickly into the kitchen. The place was huge and decked out with stuff you could tell was new and shiny. They had to easily be the richest family in Forks must be nice.

As we continued up the stairs there were lots of photographs of them all some individual some family. There were a few in the family photo I didn't recognise but like the rest of the Cullen's they were beautiful. "Are these the photos?" I laughed at one where a guy is holding Alice upside down.

"Yeah that's my brother Emmett He's a goof ball." She laughed

"Who's the other girl?" I pointed to the beautiful blond with a scowl and sunglasses.

"That's Rosalie my sister and Emmett's wife and before you think it's weird there not related none of us are." Alice pressed her lips into a tight line.

"I never thought of your family as weird," I defended.

She looked at me a moment turning to face me on the middle of the steps and I held my ground literally but also in the conversation. Her eyes seemed to travel over my face and her expression seemed to soften.

I was glad in this moment that I was a rather easily read person or as my mom would say 'her little open book'. I took it as a compliment I meant what I said I knew I came across as odd sometimes but that's just who I am.

"Sorry I just know the gossip around town about my family." She sighed running a hand through her hair.

I glanced down for a spilt second to look at her stomach I didn't mean to but the word gossip reminded me of yesterday. I looked back to her face hoping she didn't catch me. "I try not to listen to gossip." I gave a half smile.

Alice turned to continue up the stairs and I followed dutifully behind. I think the house was three stories and when we reached the top my legs ached.

"And this is my room," Alice opened the door.

I took a second to look around her room and I was amazed it was bigger than most people's apartments. I mean she almost had like a living room and a bedroom in here. She took a seat on the couch and I followed still scanning little bits and pieces. She had lots of books and magazines some in stacks littered across the floor.

"You're room is amazing it's almost an apartment." I laughed.

"Yeah when Emmett and Rose moved to Seattle a few years ago I got the wall knocked down so I could have more space." She stretched out her arms and legs content as a cat in the afternoon sun.

"So do you see your brother and sister a lot?" I asked

"Yeah we still hang out but they work a lot…Emmett owns a garage and Rosalie is an interior designer with my mom's firm."

Well that kinda explains the house I thought randomly.

"What about you any brothers or sisters?" She asked turning to face me hitching her leg up on to the couch.

"Nope just me." I answered solemnly.

"Must have been lonely growing up." She spoke softly again but I found no judgement in her voice.

It was lonely sometimes it still is," Well it was and it wasn't my mom is like a kid herself." I missed my mom I should give her a call when I get home.

"So why did you move to Forks? If I may ask." She seemed a little afraid to ask as she fidgeted nervously.

"My mom got remarried to a baseball player and he travels a lot and I knew she wanted to travel with him but I didn't and well I just thought I would spend sometime with my dad so then she could travel with him." The room was silent and there was the gentle patter of rain against the window that seemed to be getting heavier by the moment.

"That's pretty selfless of you."

I didn't really think so but whatever. I noticed a college catalogue by her TV it was for SU. "What do you want to major in?" I questioned pointing to the catalogue. Did she even plan on going? What if she was pregnant that would be really difficult but I guess people do it.

"I haven't decided yet there's still a lot to do before then. What about you?"

"I haven't even thought about it yet." I answered honestly but I really should have been I mean I knew where I wanted to go just not what I wanted to major in yet. I looked at my watch and opened my bag to check my camera again. I took it out taking off the lenses cap and snapped a picture of Alice on the couch.

"Hey did you just take a photo of me?"

"Yeah I told you I like to capture people when they least expect it." I laughed

"But I wasn't ready…" She crossed her arms over her chest like a sullen child and I laughed taking another picture blinding her with the bright flash.

"That's the point." I tried to say without smiling.

"But I'll look ugly."

"You could never." I paused at the words I didn't mean to say it. It was just an automatic response like stating a fact. Maybe she wouldn't take it in the way I meant it. It's okay for one girl to say that to another right?

"Thanks, You know you're a lot nicer than I thought you would be."

"Why did you think I wouldn't be nice?" I didn't understand.

"I don't know I thought you were funny but I guess I just didn't know you." Alice looked at me with those damn sparkly green eyes. I wasn't usually attracted to sparkly but she made me feel like a magpie and what was worse is I think I liked it.

"Well you know me more now than anyone in Forks high so what do you think?" I gestured to all of me.

She bit her lip in a move that was utterly too sexy and I had to look away again because I could feel my face begin to redden. "I think…I think were going to be good friends."

Gah…the friend zone is there a worse sort of purgatory? I plastered a fake smile and nodded along whilst it felt like my heart was screaming 'I don't want to be your friend.' God I just wanted to love her, why does it need to be so difficult? Being her friend would be hard but I would be able to spend more time with her.

We decided to move the photo taking to tomorrow and we hung out a bit more and she invited me to dinner but I had to decline because I told Charlie I would be home and I had to make him dinner. It felt unfair to ditch him at the last minute.

(Later that night)

As I was getting ready for bed I set an alarm on my phone and decided to send Alice a text. A text was cool not to serious just a little hello.

**It was nice getting to know you today sorry I couldn't stay for dinner, goodnight x -B**

I pressed send before I chickened out and deleted the x I didn't usually use x but I kind of wanted to see if she would send one back. I stared at my phone for the straight ten minutes before it buzzed and I got such a fright I almost dropped it.

**I liked getting to know you your sort of fascinating, it's okay but Esme says you have to stay tomorrow she insists, Goodnight x**

I re-read the message and smiled when I read the word fascinating. I don't really understand how I could be fascinating to her but it seems like it could be a good thing.

Xxx

The sun broke through the trees and I was glad we waited until today to take the photos because of the rarity of sun in Forks. I snapped some photos left and right of trees and the small wild flower.

"Come on you don't need to take one of every tree." Alice shouted from ahead.

"Sorry." I tried to catch up. "Are we almost there?"

"Yeah it shouldn't be much further now." Alice held on to the straps of her backpack and stepped on a mossy stone.

It seemed to happen in slow motion as she slipped one foot down the rock and as she began to falter my arm shot out and I wrapped it tightly around her small waist pulling her with all my strength into my side.

"Wow I didn't think I'd be the one catching you today." She looked at my arm and I quickly retracted it and put my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah that was a close one thanks." She flashed her dimples as she smiled and I returned it.

We broke through the tree edge into a massive clearing and I could hear the rushing of the waterfall before I saw it but when I did it was an amazing sight. I walked a little closer and looked through the camera lens zooming in to take some snaps.

"Right I think you have enough, come and eat something," Alice shouted to me.

As I was taking another picture I turned to see Alice had set out some food. "I didn't know you were packing a lunch I feel bad all I have is a bottle of water." I sat down on the grass and took a sandwich from the plastic container.

"My mom wouldn't let me leave without it." She took a sip of water and I wanted to ask her more questions. Like about real stuff I don't know why I just found her intriguing.

"Is Esme still expecting me for dinner?" I enquired

"Yes six o clock sharp I'm afraid." She rolled her eyes like I was being taken prisoner or something.

"I'm actually looking forward to it, it's nice not having to cook and my mom can't cook to save herself." I remembered the one Christmas when she tried to cook a turkey… I haven't eaten turkey since.

"Can I ask you a question?" Alice tilted her head and looked at me through her long dark lashes and she could have asked my anything if she looked at me like that again.

"You just did but yeah ask me anything." Anxity rushed through my body at her possible questions. Would she ask if I was gay? Would I tell her the truth if she did?

"Why don't you have any family photos?"

Ah this must have been on her mind for a few days now. "It's not really a big deal, I'm not the first person that's parents got divorced, but I just never got to have the family moments you know. I never got to sit on the couch with my mom and dad and watch movies or see them both in the audience at a school play or have the photos it's just stupid stuff like that."

"I don't think it's stupid," Alice dropped her gaze "I'm really lucky to have my family. I was adopted as a baby I don't know any other kind of family." She sighed and looked a little pale maybe the air was a bit thinner up here.

"Alice are you okay you look a little ill." I hope she's not I would have no idea what to do.

"No I'm fine." She put her hand over her stomach and I think my eyes may have given me away because she gave me a funny look. "I know you want to ask just say it."

Fuck why do I always have to give away what I'm thinking? I shook my head 'no' and she twisted her mouth into a frown and she just knew I was lying.

"Come on just say it," Her face was emotionless as she spoke.

I bit my lip in a sort of habit and tried to figure out a nice way to word it or distract with a joke long enough to run away. "Do you dye your hair? Because it's unusually black." Now legs run run!

"No! I don't dye my hair, I'm pregnant Bella the gossip is actually true this time." She tilted her head gave a sad smile.

Why did she tell me? I didn't need to know. Now all I could think about was how stupid she is for getting pregnant in high school, who was the father? Did he know? A barrage of questions raced through my mind.

She seems like a smart person but I guess everyone makes mistakes I guess she is human after all. I don't know how long I had been silent but I think it was too long and Alice seemed to be upset taking my silence as some sort of horrible judgement.

"Is it mine?" I asked with fake fear. She put a hand over her mouth masking her smile but I could see the smile in her eyes and knowing I made her laugh was worth the heartache. "You know you didn't have to tell me."

"I know but I wanted to. I wanted someone who wasn't in my family to know."

"Do you want to talk about it? Can I ask who the father is?" I wondered if it was anyone from school but who?

"Uh it's not anyone you know I got drunk at this college party in Seattle. I know cliché, Come on I know you want to tell me how dumb I am for getting pregnant and ruining my life."

I may have thought those things for a moment but this was bigger than a moment of stupidity now and I felt a little sad that she wanted me to berate her because of an accident or a little insulted that she thinks I would. "No one can make you feel worse than yourself and by the looks of it your doing a good job." It was silent for a moment and I was unsure of what to say. "How far along are you?" I spoke into the silence.

"Like eighteen weeks." She looked at her stomach and it was weird to think there was a little person in there.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" I was weirdly surprised by how many questions I wanted to ask.

"No," She laughed and it seemed like an 'at me' laugh. "It's a little bit early for that maybe in a few weeks."

"Sorry I don't know pregnancy math. I think I had to take 'what to do in case of a heart attack' trigonometry that day." I said in my usual sarcastic manner. Oh sarcasm I would have to endure many more embarrassing moments without you.

"Come on we better get heading back." Alice was about to get up but I motioned for her to stop.

As she stopped I pretended to go to pick up my water and instead picked up the camera taking her photograph. "Got you again." I laughed

"Dammit I'm going to get you back for that I swear. You're so damn sneaky."

"You shouldn't swear it's bad for the baby." I pointed to her stomach.

She tossed her bottle aiming straight for my face but luckily I ducked just in time. The hormones must have already started.

(Later that night)

I stared at Edward from across the table. Esme was about to bring through the food and there was an awkward silence that filled the room. I tried to think of possible conversation starters but nothing was coming to me. I checked my watch and as I did Esme, Carlisle and Alice came in with the food to save the day. We ate in silence for a moment before the questions started.

"So Bella how is your father these days." Esme asked politely.

I swallowed a bite of pasta. "He's fine." I couldn't think of anymore to say than that.

"Jasper no cell phones at dinner." Carlisle's sharp voice gave me a fright.

"But dad you get to have yours on," Jasper complained.

"Well when you're on call and someone's calling so you can possibly save a life feel free to leave it on until then not at the dinner table." Carlisle was firm but loving as he spoke and Jasper huffed as he put his cell phone back in his pocket.

The rest of dinner past normally and I don't know if I was expecting something other than a normal dinner but it was nice. Esme got up to start clearing the table and I instinctively started to help.

"Bella you don't have to do that you're a guest."

"It's no problem Mrs. Cullen I'm happy to do it." I smiled and followed Esme into the kitchen and as we entered Esme smiled back at.

"Thank you Bella I wish I had three more like you."

"Hey! I heard that." Alice walked into the room putting a few plated into the sink.

"Well I did say it out loud honey." Esme joked and it was kind of funny in a mom way.

"Thank you for dinner Esme but I think I better get going." I looked at my watch not wanting to overstay my welcome.

"I'll walk you out." Alice led the way to the front door and then followed me out to my truck.

I was about to get in my truck when Alice gave me a hug wrapping her hands around my waist and almost laying her head on my chest and my heart started to beat so much at the contact it was almost vibrating. I didn't know whether to hug back or wait for her to finish. I slowly wound my arms high on her shoulders giving her a light squeeze because she was so small I was a slightly afraid I would hurt her. She stepped back and I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. I got in my truck and waved goodbye as Alice stood in the cold watching me until I had left her sight.

Xxx

As I parked in my usual spot I noticed Angela standing beside Ben at his car. I got out and she waved me over.

"Hey Bella how was your weekend? Did you get up to anything?" Angela asked as if she somehow knew I was with Alice.

"Not bad just did some work on that art project and finished that English essay. What about you guys?" I returned the question.

"I tried to teach Ang how to play on Xbox live it was hilarious." Ben laughed Angela rolled her eyes at him. Ben did an impression of Angela hysterically shouting and it was actually pretty good.

As I was laughing at Ben's antics the Cullen's pulled up in their dark silver Volvo. I wonder if it will be like anything's changed. I mean Alice told me some pretty big stuff but maybe she won't want to talk to me today. Maybe that was just a weekend thing and now it Monday and everything's back to normal like it was just one of they thirty minute shows where something dramatic happens but at the end it's all back to normal.

I looked past Ben to see them all get out of the car and they walked into the building not waiting around in the car park like everyone else. Well looks like back to normal it is.

During my first class I couldn't help but ignore my teacher and let my thoughts drift to Alice. How beautiful she looks in the photos I took. I shook away the thoughts I'm in the friend zone I should try to think of her as a friend a really hot friend that I think about making out with way to much. Okay just stop thinking altogether ah that's better.

The ugly blue chairs of the cafeteria were curling my spine as Mike asked again if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I was about to say 'no' for the hundredth time when I felt a small hand place it's self on my shoulder.

"Hey Bella I was wondering if I could talk to you about our project." Alice spoke and the whole table fell silent as I slid my chair back thankful for my saviour.

"Yeah sure." I grabbed my stuff following Alice outside to some of the benches.

"Sorry but you looked like you needed saving. I don't actually need to talk to you about the project."

"Yeah I did Mike's a little…uh…well he doesn't seem to grasp the concept of taking no for an answer."

"Yeah he does seem a little annoying."

"Won't your brothers be missing you?" I asked but really I was secretly happy that she wanted to spend time with me.

"No they can survive without me, their always having these non speaking conversations where they just look at each other until one relents it's really weird to watch."

"So basically they have staring competitions." I laughed. "Well your brothers seem like a nice couple. How did your parents take to them being gay?" I asked interested to find out the answer because maybe I could find out her views on being gay if she had an open attitude to it I maybe have a shot.

"They were fine with it love is love, that's what they believe and what they brought us up to believe." She gave a lopsided grin and I was jumping on the inside at her words

As we fell into easy conversation we talked about nothing of life or death just favourite movies and TV shows and I needed to find out her taste in music because that could be a real friendship breaker if I had to put up with her singing some teen top twenty crap but I was lucky she seemed to like all the same things I did.

"So do you miss your friends back in phoenix?" Alice asked me relentless questions about my past and I tried to answer every one.

"I didn't have many friends I was a bit of a loaner." I admitted but I don't know why I was ashamed of the fact I was fine at being on my own.

"I know we should have a sleep over have you ever had one?" Alice spoke with a high-pitched excitement at the mere idea.

"No I've never had a sleep over but aren't we a little beyond that Alice." I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

She looked slightly upset as her eyes became slowly sad and her bottom lip jutted out slightly. No she was pouting…that's not fair. I looked at the table and I think she made have stopped. I slowly lifted my head to see if it was all clear and she was still pouting. "Ugh…when," I relented their was no fighting her.

"Yes! Tomorrow afterschool bring your stuff.' Alice clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Fine but no girly stuff." I tried to demand but I sounded like an angry child.

"Yeah, yeah whatever it's going to be awesome."

"Yeah awesome." Sharing a room with you and having to over think every word and action I make is just peachy. "Can I walk you to English?"

"Sure." Alice said getting up from the table and we walked to her locker as she took out some books. She turned to me and flashed me another smile. "Will you carry these for me?"

"Okay." I was happy too. As I walked a little behind Alice as I tried to keep pace I suddenly felt like I was doing the work of a boyfriend without any of the perks and I thought this was going to be a normal day.

Xxx

"What movie do you want to watch." Alice asked moving a finger swiftly over the titles.

"Em I'm not fussy you choose." I said to lazy to get off the couch.

We had been in sleep over mode for four hours and it wasn't too bad. Alice put in the movie and took a seat beside me on the couch curling her legs beneath her and putting a blanket over her legs.

"So what did you choose?"

"Have you seen ten things I hate about you?"

"Good choice it's one of my favourites. I haven't seen it in a while." As the music stared I stretched my arm along the couch and Alice's eyes were glued to the screen mine were glued to her face. She started smiling when Heath started to sing and slide down the flagpole onto the bleachers.

"That's so not high school, no one would ever do that, and you could never live it down."

"But it's so romantic putting yourself out there and embarrassing yourself."

Yeah embarrassing is right. "So you want someone to stand under your window with a boom box?"

"It doesn't have to be a boom box it could be an iPod and speakers."

"Wow how 2011 of you." I laughed

"Well I try and stay with the times." She gave me a sly smile and I nudged her with my foot and she giggled.

I should tell her I have feeling for her. I should tell her now. I should just blurt it out or maybe tell her I don't want to be her friend I want to be more.

"Uh Alice…I," she looked at me and that sparkle in her eyes made me all dumb and weird inside again. "I have to go to the bathroom."

She moved away from me and I shot out of the room like a flash. I don't even know where the bathroom is. I walked down the hall and spotted another door. I opened it slightly then a little more but it wasn't the bathroom.

"Hey what you doing in here?" Edward enquired with a confused look.

"Sorry I was looking for the bathroom." I said about to close the door when Edward waved me in.

"I wanted to talk to you anyway, I want to know what your doing with my sister." He asked like it was a completely normal question to ask a guest.

"Eh…well we had a project and now we're friends." I didn't know if he expected more than that.

"Yeah but I see the way you look at her, I know you have feelings for her and I think she knows you have feelings for her too she's just to polite to say anything and I know I might sound like an ass but I'm just looking out for you. Don't get involved don't be friends she's doesn't need any extra drama in her life right now." Edward asked and I did think he was an ass but I could see he was trying to protect his sister. His thoughts were in the right place but he had to know that I couldn't just walk away.

"I wish it was that easy Edward I do but I bet you know better than anyone that you don't choose who you have feelings for no matter how much you want to." I left Edward's room before I felt the anger rise within me. Where does he get off telling me who I can and can't be friends with and I don't bring drama I don't think I've ever had a dramatic moment in my whole life. Stupid messy haired idiot doesn't know what he's talking about.

I got back to Alice's room and finished watching the movie with her. I ran over everything he said in my head over and over but it was just one part I didn't know how to take. Does she know I have feelings for her and is she just ignoring it?

After a few movies I got ready for bed. I took the couch whilst Alice took the bed after a fight of her saying we should both sleep on the floor because that's sleep over etiquette and I thought she was crazy because it wasn't good for her back and I won. I won the fight with an inner happy dance I lay my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling as Alice switched off the light.

"Goodnight Alice." I spoke into the darkness.

"Night."

I rolled onto my side trying to get comfy but I couldn't seem to switch off my brain. Questions and moments just rolled and rolled around keeping me from being able to switch off.

"Hey Alice are you asleep?" I whispered just encase she was.

"Yes."

Ha very funny I should have seen that one coming. "Were you scared? When you told your family you're pregnant were you scared they would reject you?" I asked in the darkness and I could hear her sigh.

"Yes I was really scared, I mean I know they're great people but my mind just kept telling me I was an awful person and I had messed up big time. I was so ashamed of myself at the thought that I had let them down in some way. I thought they would throw me out and I would be living alone on the streets or something."

"Can I ask you something?" I spoke again into the pitch-black room.

"You just did." She chuckled

"Can I be there for you? You know with the baby stuff can I help."

"Why do you want to help?" I couldn't see her face but I knew she would have that look she has when she thinks something's odd. The one where her eyes get really small and her eyebrows almost form into one.

"I don't know…" I really didn't I just didn't want her to be alone and I knew she had family but its not the same. "I just don't want you to be alone I want you to know you'll have back-up."

"Thanks that would be nice, I could always use back-up."

I laughed at my own stupid choice of words but it seemed to do the job.

Xx

It had been two weeks since the sleep over and things at school had changed ever since. I mean some still treated me the same but some avoided me and Jessica always seemed to be asking me questions about everything. Angela even told me that there was a rumour that Alice and I were dating…I Wish. I was now president of the friend zone I think they were naming a street after me next week.

I thought spending extra time with Alice would make me see some sort of fault that I could use to help stop my feelings but she was smart, funny and too good to be true. We liked the same bands and movies. She knew all the words to bad romance…I found that to be hilarious. She liked peanut butter but hated chocolate, she could beat me on guitar hero and she spoke Spanish that was an odd turn on. She liked to drink tea but she said that was a pregnant thing and even the whole pregnancy thing didn't seem to bother me in the slightest. We had started texting goodnight and now I found it hard to sleep if she wasn't the last person I talked to at night. I think I may be sick this isn't normal or at least it shouldn't be.

I had some rare free time and I decided to spend it in the library. As I headed toward the library I passed by the gym and saw two guys hassling someone and I was going to ignore it until I saw the all to familiar spiky black hair. I headed in their direction and I could hear them berating her before I got there.

"You should come to my place tonight." One of the guys said as the other laughed.

"Yeah at least we know she gives out."

I felt my nails dig into my palm as I approached. Alice looked pissed off but wasn't saying anything back. One of the guys in a black jacket took a step closer and blocked Alice from my vision. My heart raced when I couldn't see her and I jogged up and pushed the guy from the side. He was only a little bigger than me so it wasn't hard.

"Hey what the hell?" One of the guys said but I was to busy checking if Alice was okay but she looked a little shook up.

"Looks like her girlfriend has come to join us. I've always wanted to see a little girl on girl."

This asshole was getting on my nerves and I turned to face him so he could say his crap to my face. "You better fuck off before you make me do something I won't regret," I threatened and they laughed.

"Come on then." He took a step closer squaring up his stance against mine neither of us giving an inch.

"Bella just leave it." Alice tried to get my attention but I ignored her.

The smaller of the two came towards me grabbing my shoulder and I instantly swung to get rid or his hold and by accident made contact with his face.

He swung back wildly and hit me in the eye. I fell backward into the grass His friend grabbed him and backed him away. "Come on man you've done it now." They turned quickly and headed off inside.

Ouch that hurt like hell. It never looks like it hurts this much on TV. I held my hand over my eye and now my hand had started to hurt. I tried to open my eye but it hurt too much.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Alice shrieked coming to my aid.

She placed her hand over mine trying to move it away but I didn't want her to touch it hurt too much.

"Let me see it."

"No."

"Well we have to something," Alice stood up and started to pace. "Want me to get the nurse."

"No no nurse…I'll just go home." I tried to get up but the adrenalin had me shaky and Alice rushed to my side.

"You can't drive like that here I'll take you to my place at least Carlisle might be there."

"Okay." I didn't have the energy to argue. Alice walked closely beside me as I kept my hand over my eye. She tried to take my other hand but I pulled it away when she touched my knuckle it hurt so much I think I may have broken something.

"Sorry." She spoke "But why the hell did you do that anyway? They could have kicked the crap out of you." She waved wildly and I couldn't help but feel happy that she was so worried about me.

"What no one ever get punched in the face for you before?"

"No I can't say they have." Alice's voice was still slightly shocked as we got in her car. "I can't believe you did that. Are you stupid? They are just words they can't hurt me Bella." She spoke more to herself than me but I still think I did the right thing.

"But they shouldn't speak to you like that! You don't deserve to take crap from those idiots and if you won't stand up for yourself then I will. " I argued.

"I don't need you to fight my battles."

"Could have fooled me," I muttered turning my gaze to look out the window.

"What did you say?"

Okay I should have remembered not to argue with a pregnant chick. "Nothing." I hope she bought that. We arrived at her house and we walked straight into the kitchen and I was surprised to find a big guy eating a sandwich and flicking through a magazine.

"Emmett! I thought you wouldn't be here till next week." Alice jumped into his arm and he swung her into a hug.

"Well you know Rose she wanted to be here for all the stuff. Hey shouldn't you be at school?" He asked and looked at me.

I just smiled and waved with my free hand.

"Yeah we were but Bella decided to get punched in the face instead."

"Hey! It was either that or maths I think I made the right decision." I joked and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Ali get an ice pack, I think dad keeps some in the basement fridge." Emmett spoke as he came towards me and I knew he was going to play doctor.

"Let me have a look."

"It's fine really."

"Come on I've had a few black eyes. Have you seen how hot my wife is? Yeah she's got a good right hook too." He chuckled a deep guttural laugh. "So what happened?"

I slowly took my hand down from my left eye and Emmett brought his hand up and I flinched as he went to touch it. "Some idiots were bothering Alice so I got in the way and one think lead to another yada, yada, yada black eye."

"So you were standing up for her." He questioned.

"It was the right thing to do."

"Yeah it was, that's what family do and Bella for sticking up for my sister I now consider you family, so if you ever need anything give me a call." Emmett smiled and moved to examine my hand.

He touched it lightly and I swore under my breath, "Fuck, it's not broken is it?"

"No it's not broken it's just swollen and you may have bruised the bone but just alternate hot and cold and it should go down." Emmett gave me a smile. "Hey what does the other girl look like?"

I never said it was a girl, "It was a guy."

"It was a guy! High five," Emmett put his hand up and I just stared at him. "Oh yeah sorry." Realization hit his eyes and he just grinned.

"Well I got one good hit in," I chuckled. "Alice is a little pissed at me thou she thinks I was trying to fight her battles."

"Were you?" Emmett asked and I had to think before I answered.

Was I trying to fight her battles? I just wanted to protect her she so…small. I just thought maybe I could do some of the hard stuff for her. Take some of the weight. I knew I liked her like really liked her but I think I may be in love with her…fuck when did that happen?

Alice walked back in with a few ice packs and she focused on my face and put on over my eye and I put my hand on top of hers and I could feel her whole hand in mine and I knew I had to tell her.

"Alice can we talk for a minute," I looked at Emmett. "In private," I added quietly.

I followed Alice up the stairs trying to focus on what I was going to say. I shouldn't say 'I love her' that would freak her out. I need a better choice of words.

"What did you want to tell me?" Alice turned to me as we both stood in the middle of her room.

I looked at her with my one good eye and scratched my leg awkwardly with my foot. "Uh…I…wanted to tell you." I can't do it, I can't what if she says…fuck I have no idea what she'll say. "That is I wanted you to know."

"Come on B just spit it out," Alice looked at me confused.

She just called me B no one calls me B I smiled at the nickname. "I like you."

"Uh…thanks I like you to B." Alice said in obviously friendly way and she obviously didn't get it.

"No you don't get it…ugh… I like you, like you." I wanted to face palm for sounding like a stupid teenager…oh wait I am.

I watched as a look of shock crossed Alice's delicate features and my heart raced and I think I was about to faint wouldn't that be the perfect end to today.

"Bella I uh…I didn't know you…" Alice stumbled on her words and I think it's the fist time I had seen her at a loss for words.

"Gay yeah I am." I smiled awkwardly and it hurt my face to do so I pressed the ice pack closed into my face and just hoped that she would give me chance.

"I was going to say I didn't know you felt that way." Alice said as she stared to pace. "I mean I like you." She gestured to me and I just waited for the 'but'.

"But I'm not really in a place where I'm ready for a relationship." She shook her head and ran her hand over her hair.

I frowned but it could have been a lot worse at least it didn't feel like a complete 'no way get out of my room I don't want to see you again.' I just needed a chance if she liked me I knew she could love me. "I totally get that and I can wait I just want you to know that." I felt pathetic.

"But Bella you don't want to wait for me. I'm not worth waiting for you should be with someone else, someone who's not as messed up as me. What if I fix you up with someone like…Kate or Ashley?" Alice ran her hand through her hair and I could feel Alice try to push me away with her words but I wouldn't let her.

I took a step closer and lightly grasped her hand with mine. I looked her in the eye trying to convey my feelings. "I don't want Kate or Ashley I want you." I bowed my head. "Just give me a chance that's all I ask."

"Bella." Alice sighed and wrapped her arms around my waist as I leaned my head on her shoulder and watched as my breath parted her soft hair.

"I'm not good for you," She whispered.

"That's what makes me want you so much. I don't care if you think your messed up I like that about you it's what makes you…you. I'll be messed up with you."

"I'm selfish." She argued like it would change my mind.

"So I'm lazy."

"I'm pregnant."

"Okay I'm really lazy." I tried to think of something better but I could feel her vibrate with laughter.

"I'm not saying no… just not right now." Alice said and I feel oddly like I just proposed or something. "Can we still just be friends?"

Uh friends… I was beginning to hate the word. "Not the friend zone anything but that please." She released me from the hug and I took a step back to look at her. Her bright green eyes sparkled like they always did and I felt a sort of safe like I could always count on her eyes to sparkle.

"Fine what about part-time friends?" She asked and I exhaled a sharp laugh. What did part-time friends even mean?

"And what about the other part." I asked hopeful.

"We can figure that out later."

We walked back down the stairs and I couldn't help but feel conflicted. It wasn't the answer I wanted but at least it wasn't a 'no' I guess. I left quickly after that hoping to give Alice some time to think on the situation.

When I got home Charlie was already there and quickly asked my about my eye to which I fabricated a lie of walking into an open locker. I don't know if I should be insulted at he fact that he believed it so quickly or just happy that he believed it at all. As I got ready for bed I thought about texting Alice good night which was our usual ritual but I wanted her to do it first. I waited and waited until my clock hit midnight and I just lay in bed. It felt like a battle if I sent it first would I be giving in? Would I just be acknowledging her power over me? I want her to need me to. To miss me like I missed her. I waited another ten minutes and held the phone in my hand trying to will it into buzzing but it didn't.

I sent the message five minutes later but I didn't get one back.

Xxx

I shoved my books back into my locker and changed the song on my IPod to a good one and closed my locker jumping at the closeness of Jasper Cullen. I put my hand over my heart at the shock. I didn't even see him approach.

"Jasper you scared me." I panted trying to regain my breath.

"Sorry about that." Jasper leaned lazily against the lockers looking me up and down for a moment and I felt under scrutiny by his gaze. "Nice shiner, Alice told me what happened. I should have been there but it's been sorted out."

I didn't want to know what he meant by that. I turned to walk to class and he followed me down the hall.

"Edward told me what he said to you and I want you to know that he's an idiot and I made him pay for that." Jasper gave a lazy grin easily keeping pace with his long strides. "You think he of all people would understand but he's overprotective and jumps to conclusions he's not one to trust people easily." Jasper spoke with glazed eyes, as he seemed to be recalling a memory.

"He sounds like a hoot," I barked a laugh.

"Yeah but he's also fiercely loyal and understanding. He wants to apologize but he's not good at saying he's wrong." Jasper spoke and I was beginning to wonder why he was speaking to me.

"Jasper if Edward wants to apologize he can do it himself, he doesn't have to send you."

"Oh no." Jasper cut in, "He didn't send me, I just wanted to tell you not to give up on Alice. She needs someone to fight for her but it's not going to be easy trust me I know."

Alice had been avoiding me all day, she didn't call or text or even wave hello I had obviously scared her off with all that I like you crap…I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut. Should I be trying harder? Charlie did always bring me up to believe in working hard in order to get what you want but I think he meant money or grades at the time. "Nothing worth fighting for ever is."

Jasper beamed a full grin and walked me to my class. "Bella sit with us at lunch, please."

I argued it over in my head and my inner conflict was raging but Jasper needed an answer quickly.

"Please as my friend." Jasper added.

I liked Jasper and I couldn't say no when he seemed to want it so much he was almost pleading. "Fine see you at lunch."

I was anticipating sitting at the Cullen's table as I walked through the halls to the cafeteria. I parted ways with Angela when I spotted Jasper waiting by the doors maybe he thought I would just sit at my usual table and I can't lie I did think about it.

"Hey Bella did you bring your Lunch or do you buy?" Jasper enquired.

"I buy."

"Cool."

I walked into the line picking up a tray and slid it across the metal bars looking at the warmed up food that seemed completely unappetising. I opted for a sandwich and chips and as I got to the register I noticed some peanut butter candy and smiled as it reminded me of Alice and her incessant ranting of being hungry and wanting candy. I swear that baby is going to have some sweet tooth when it comes out. I picked up some candy and put it on my tray and paid in exact change because for some odd reason I preferred to pay for things and not have to wait for change, it just saved time.

Jasper walked us to they're usual table and I had a shot of nerves race through my body as Jasper pulled out a seat for me then took his next to Edward.

"What are you doing here?" Alice said slightly shocked at our proximity

Wow she seemed happy to see me, "Is that any way to treat someone who got punched in the face for you?" I asked smiling.

"I never asked you to." Alice rebutted

"Well now you tell me." I huffed throwing up my arms.

"Now, now you two kiss and make up." Jasper asked and I turned to look away awkwardly.

"Jasper shut up." Edward muttered under his breath but we could still all hear him. "Bella I wanted to talk to you um…I wanted to say sorry about you know." I looked to Edward and he seemed slightly awkward but he did seem sorry. I glanced at Alice and she was just confused.

"No problem Edward really it's fine apology accepted." I took a bite from my sandwich and the tension at the table was palpable. Alice didn't want to talk to me and Edward and Jasper didn't know what to say. We all just ate in silence until the guys started there own conversation.

I noticed the packet of candy on my tray and put it on the table slowly sliding it over until it came to a spot near Alice.

"What is this for?" Alice asked quietly surprised.

"It's for you I know your always complaining of how hungry you are in-between classes."

"Thanks." She looked at me with a downward gaze and I didn't know what I was supposed to say. "Look I'm going to the hospital tomorrow after school for a scan and I was wondering if you wanted to come."

I wanted to jump out of my chair and do an air punch but I managed to rein it in a bit with a simple nod.

Xxx

I was acutely aware that Alice was lying on a table and that we weren't alone. It was an odd feeling Esme, Rosalie and I stood at Alice's side and I felt sort of out of place.

Rosalie was talking excitedly about a new design something for houses and how she was going to try and be here for more of the baby stuff and I thought she's such a good sister. She didn't really acknowledge me and I was fine with that it was a hit to my self-esteem just looking at her. Was it something in their water that made them all beautiful? And if it is note to self steal their water.

The technician came in and everyone was quiet as she sat at the station pulling it up to Alice's other side. She took out a bottle of something and told Alice to move her shirt up in a soothing non-threatening kind of voice. I didn't know if I should look away or what but I couldn't not look I mean it was right there. I realized that this was the first time it really hit me that she was pregnant that there was a being growing inside her. How weird was that?

The technician rolled the scanner over her stomach and the ultrasound echoed through the room. It was a dull beat like listening to base music with your head underwater or not. I black screen had an odd bean like shape on it and it was hard to make out anything.

"There it is." The woman pointed to the screen and we all leaned in and stared at the screen in silence for a few minutes.

"Can I speak to you outside for a moment." Esme asked and Rosalie followed them. I wonder what they need to speak about? Was there something wrong? Nah she would have said if there were something wrong.

I tried to make out the image but it was difficult. I squinted my eyes and tilted my head but still I couldn't see it. I felt Alice's cold hand wrap around mine and she squeezed it gently. I looked at her and she was so beautiful I really wish I had my camera to capture this moment. Her most beautiful feature had to be her eyes they are so expressive I feel like I can almost see what she's thinking.

"Can I ask what your thinking?"

She tore her gaze away from the screen to look at me and she smiled and whipped her eyes but I couldn't see any tears.

"I'm just amazed there's life living and growing inside me."

"Yeah the only thing living inside me is some fries and all the gum I ate when I was ten." I chuckled

"You ate gum?"

"I liked the taste…don't judge." I asked with a serious face and she laughed at me. It finally felt like things were starting to get back to normal. I squeezed her hand and looked at the screen again. "Do you see it?"

"Yeah it's right there that thing that looks like a big jelly bean."

"That's it well I saw that!" I argued to make myself seem less inept but I was lying.

I gave Alice a moment to get ready and stood in the hall where Rosalie seemed to be reading some poster. She turned to me and kind of half smiled then frowned.

"So how long are you going to be in town?" I asked trying to make polite conversation.

"Were going to be here a lot but I have to go back to Seattle for work."

"It's really nice of you to be here for Alice…that you're all so close." I sort of envied their closeness. I wish I had a sister or a brother to talk to some of the time.

"We're family and I know she would do the same for me it just kills me that I can't." Rosalie's featured became marred by sadness and I frowned with her.

"You can't have kids?" I asked trying not to be too forward.

"Nope me and Emmett have tried for years but I was adopted so I guess we can be happy adopting. I'm just kind of jealous I guess." She laughed but it was a sort of sad weary laugh.

I couldn't get why she would be jealous but I guess it's understandable wanting something so badly that comes to others so easily.

Xxx

It had been a month since the scan and we had progressed slowly from the occasional hand holding to a kiss on the forehead. It actually happened by accident at first she was giving me a hug goodbye and kinda hit her head against my lips but hey I'll take what I can get.

We were currently sitting in Alice's room on her bead and she was reading pregnancy books on her belly with her feet in the air and I had to read Hamlet for English class and I was borrowing Alice's copy. Hamlet was boring me though so I took one of the pregnancy books and flipped through it pretending to read a passage.

"Hey Alice it says here that if you don't breast feed then all the milk in your breast just leaks out and you have to wear a boob diaper."

"What!" She snatched the book from my hand and started reading through the words at a frantic pace as I fell to my side in frantic laughter.

"I…can't…believe…you…fell…for…that." I tried to speak in-between laughs but it was too painful. I wiped away a few tears at the sight of Alice's angry look.

"That's mean." Alice pouted and yes it was mean but so funny.

"Have you thought of any names for jellybean yet?" We had stared calling the baby jellybean because she didn't want to know the sex so we have no idea if it's a boy or a girl.

Alice snapped her book shut and I knew she was excited to tell me when she started to speak with her hands.

"Right what do you think if it's a girl of Beatrice?"

"I would say; are you having a seventy year old woman?" Beatrice I mean seriously if you get to name someone make it cool.

"Shut up, Lets see you do better." Alice crossed her arms and I had been thinking of a few.

"Okay what about Dakota?" I asked

"For a boy or a girl?" she tilted her head quizzically.

"A girl."

"Nope I'm not naming jellybean after a state sorry."

"Well then why did you ask if it was for a boy or a girl?" I could hear my voice getting higher.

"I thought it might change my mind."

"Well I guess that rules out Arizona and Montana then." I sighed, "Do you think parents that name their kid Aaron are just lazy I mean look it's the first one in the book."

'I don't know, I don't even like my name."

"What I like Alice." I was not aware of the pun when I said it but I tried to bypass the awkwardness.

"Yeah but that's my middle name." She said and I was surprised I didn't know this.

"Then what's your name Alice if that's even your real name which you just told me is not," I rambled.

"Ugh…it's Mary but you can't tell anyone." Alice said with disgust.

"Mary," I sniggered at the name it didn't seem to suit her at all.

"Hey your not allowed to laugh, okay Isabella."

Damn she had me there damn my stupid name. "Okay truce." I called holding up my hands.

"Truce."

"But you better give this baby a kick ass name since we were both cheated out of one." I added narrowing my eyes to convey my seriousness.

"What about Sebastian." Alice looked at me like it was an actual option.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having a cat?" I asked with fake surprise and she swatted me with the book.

"I think it's a nice name."

Yeah but you also think ice cream is meant to be scooped out with mars bars but I knew better than to come between her and food. She may like me but I was still under melted marshmallows on the totem poll. "Sure Ali." I said getting up off the bed it was getting late.

"You've never called me Ali before." Alice knitted her eyebrows together looking at me with nothing to say that she was happy about the fact.

I paused I hadn't even realised that I had. "Sorry, don't you like it." I moved to put on my jacket.

"No It's okay I like it I was just surprised." She smiled showing her signature dimples and I put in my memory to call her Ali from now on.

"I have to go Charlie thinks I should start paying you rent with the amount of time I spend here."

"Okay see you tomorrow…oh before you go I wanted to ask if you wanted to go shopping with me and Rose next week for maternity stuff and junk."

Uh shopping was not my favourite thing but I guess if she wanted me to come I could grit my teeth and bare it. "Sure." I leaned down to give her a quick Kiss on the cheek and left her to her books.

On my way out I waved hi to Jazz and Em who were on a call of duty marathon in the living room. "Bye guys." I waved to them.

"Bye Bells." They said in unison without looking away from the screen.

I wanted to say bye to Esme so I passed by the kitchen on the way out and she was pottering about like she usually was.

"Hey Esme just wanted to say bye."

"Oh hi Bella going already, I wanted to give you this." She handed me a plastic box.

"It's your favourite peanut butter and chocolate chunks." She grinned flashed her perfect teeth in a wide smile.

"Thank you Esme." I left the kitchen and headed for the door.

Just as I was heading out Edward was hitting his shoes against the wall knocking off clumps of dirt from his earlier run.

"Oh Edward I wanted to say thanks for that CD I loved all those bands you recommended you'll have to make me another one and I have some to recommend you." I thought of all the bands he may never had heard of and I put a CD in my to-do list for Edward.

"No problem Bella did you like the classical? I wasn't sure if you would be into it."

"Yeah I loved it especially the Debussy stuff." I didn't usually listen to classical but the songs he gave me were really good.

"Cool see you later." Edward left and I headed for my truck slightly sad to be leaving the Cullen house.

It was late when I arrived home and Charlie was sitting in the dark living room the only light coming from the TV. I entered the room putting the cookies on the table and Charlie looked at me whipping the beer from his moustache.

"Hey Bells."

"Hey Dad what you watching?"

"Extreme fishing." Charlie said exactly but I was used to his limited word answers.

As I stood in the living room the only noise coming from the TV. I missed the Cullen house already and the warmth it seemed to emanate. I felt it was unfair somehow that they all had each other and I seemed to have no one.

"I'm going to head to bed it's been a long day."

"Okay Bells sleep tight."

Xxx

I quickly found the man chair as we entered the hundredth store. I quickly realized whilst shopping with Alice and Rosalie that every store had a chair, which I think was for men with shopping bags and wives that dragged them to every store. Well today I was that man and I found that chair first so the rest of them could find another chair. I littered the many bags around my feet and fell into the chair with a sigh of relief. How many Elastic waist bands could one girl need I mean she's not even that big. I think she just likes to see me suffer.

"Bella what do you think of these." Alice asked as she held up a pair of jeans.

"They look great." I yelled across the store, just like the twenty other pair you already bought I added silently.

"You say that about everything." Alice came tumbling towards me and I knew that look. That was the 'don't test me' look.

"Well it's true Ali." I added a sad smile for effect and she totally bought it. I gave myself an inner high five. "Can we get something to eat I'm starved."

"Sure." We found Rosalie and left the shop and headed to the first place we saw that served food it was some sort of pizza place.

After a bite to eat we had to walk back to the parking structure where the cars were parked and five minutes into walking Alice started to complain of her feet hurting.

"My feet hurt."

My feet weren't feet anymore they were bloody nubs but I wasn't complaining. "What do you want me to do?" I tried not to be mean but I was tired.

"Give me a piggy back." Alice whined holding out her arms and I huffed a short laugh.

Ha yeah a piggy back whilst I'm carrying bags what does she think I am her personal slave. I shot her a look that said 'are you kidding me?'

"Please B," She moaned then pouted and it was like a double team of unfairness.

"Fine," I bent down and she quickly hopped on my back. Her legs wrapped around my waist and she put her arms loosely around my neck and leaned her head on my should and I felt a warm feeling course through my veins at the contact like someone was giving my heart a bear hug.

"Awe I have to get a picture of you guys." Rosalie turned with a laugh as I was staring to strain under the weight but tried not to show it. I mean I was only a little bigger than Alice and not much stronger.

"Smile." Rosalie said as she pointed her phone at us.

I smiled as Alice pushed her cheek against mine and we both chuckled at how weird we must look. We walked a little more and got a few stares from passers by but we eventually made it.

Xxx

"Hey what are you doing?" Alice popped her head into my room and I was pleasantly surprised to see her. It wasn't like her to just show up unexpectedly at my house but I liked that she felt like she could.

"Hey Alice why are you here? Is there something wrong?" I started to run through what possible things could be wrong.

"No…no…nothings wrong it's just everyone's out and I sort of maybe…missed you a little…not that much." She bit her lip as she spoke and a light maroon color crossed her cheeks and I could see she was embarrassed at the admittance.

"Well I missed you a little…not that much to." I patted beside me on the bed and she danced over in her usual fashion sitting on the edge of the bed as I sat leaning up against the headboard.

"So what you reading?" She asked innocently.

"A book." My sarcastic nature demanded I reply. "A poetry book." I added for good measure.

"Can you read me one, I like the baby to hear nice things." She added and I thought it weird to talk to a bump in her stomach.

"Um…sure."

Alice curled up on the bed and laid her head on my legs and I gulped at the proximity of our flesh. It was beginning to get more and more difficult to stop my thoughts and my feelings when I was around her but in moments like this when we were alone and she was freer, more her self…it was almost impossible.

I took a deep breath unsure of where to start. I had never said stuff like this before. I picked one I had been thinking about for a while. I stuttered through the first few lines and tried to read quickly until I got to the middle and I paused for a moment taking in some much needed oxygen. "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this; where 'I' does not exist, nor 'you'. So close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

I tried to read the lines of Pablo Neruda as if they were my own coming from my own heart because I am not able to convey my feeling as well as he does. Alice lifted her head to look at me and I bowed my head because I just found it hard to look at her sometimes, she's so beautiful and I'm just not. She stalked her way up my body never touching me; my hands were trembling as I gripped onto the pages of my book I began to fear I might break it in half. She was so close to me I could smell her fragrant perfume that I'm sure will be ingrained into my sheets tonight.

"Can I try something?" Alice asked and I flick my eyes up to meet hers and I gave a small nod. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing, 'in and out' I reminded myself but even I could hear how ragged it was.

Alice placed her palm against my cheek she was so cold but it felt good. Leaning in she placed her lips against mine and I let her control the kiss encase it was some sort of dream I was sure to wake up from at any moment. I inhaled her sent and slid my hand onto her waist as her other hand moved to clutch at my hair. I moved my lips against hers trying to capture more of soft pink flesh but she pulled away getting up and stumbling backwards against the wall.

She had to feel what I felt that had to mean something, "Alice." I gasped her name with a ragged breath like it was last and only word.

She held up one finger indicating that she needed a minute. God how many thoughts could race through my head in a minute, it felt like a lifetime since she had spoken.

"I don't think we should be friends, I'm sorry." She hauled the door open and moved faster than I had ever seen her move before.

"Alice wait!" I shouted but it was too late as I made it to the bottom of the stairs she was already gone.

What did she mean? It obviously wasn't the good kind of 'I don't want to be friends'. Maybe she just needed some time to process. I should just give her time yeah that's what I should do.

"What was that about?" Charlie popped his head out of the kitchen and I had forgotten he was even in the house.

"Dad have you ever liked a girl so much but every word she said and every action she made messed with your head." I asked solemnly clutching onto the old wooden rail for some sort of support.

"That's not one girl that's every girl I'm afraid." Charlie gave me a sad smile but I could see he was slightly pleased. "So you and Alice huh?"

"It's complicated." I sighed taking a seat on the stairs.

"Sorry Bells girls always are, you should have seen me with your mother I was always stumbling over my words, I could never do anything right." He laughed as he reminisced and all I could think is 'so that's where I get it from'

"Thanks dad you wisdom is priceless."

**A/N- Thank you for reading, and sorry for any grammar mistakes. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. They might even be better than piggyback rides:] **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – Thank you! To all those who reviewed and put on alert. I forgot to mention it last time but music inspiration for this story is knocked up by Kings of Leon and pretty much anything on the Juno sound track. So with that in mind read on:} **

It had been three days since Alice kissed me, three long days and she hadn't shown up at school. I was left to finish our project alone but I could care less about that. I was trying to give her some space but it was hard when all I wanted to do was see her. At lunch I sat with Edward and Jasper in hopes of getting some information.

"Hey guys." I slammed my tray on the table gaining their attention.

"Hey." They said quietly relaxing there shoulders as they continued eating there lunch.

"Jazz can you please tell me why Alice has been avoiding me." I knew why she was but I wanted to see what they knew.

"Bella I don't know what to tell you. She hasn't told us anything she's been avoiding us to. Why don't you come over tonight and try to talk to her?" Jasper shrugged throwing me a pensive look.

I thought about it for a moment should I give her space or confront her. Decisions, decisions. "Okay what time?"

"Emmett's taking me and Edward camping this weekend and we leave right after school so the house should be pretty empty." Jasper chomped on a carrot stick as he spoke.

I nodded and quietly ate my lunch; the rest of the day seemed to pass in a blur as I tried to think of what I could say to Alice tonight.

(Later that day)

I knocked on the door of the Cullen house with heavy hand so she would be sure to hear it. I thought about walking away but I just couldn't. I coughed clearing my throat preparing the speech I rehearsed in the bathroom mirror. Alice opened the door wearing sweats and a baggy t-shirt that was only half tucked into the waistband of the sweats. I opened my mouth clearly to speak but I had forgot what I was going to say. She looked like she hadn't slept in days as deep purple rings marked her eyes.

"Bella what are you doing here?" Alice asked shocked as I let myself in.

"You've been avoiding me," I deadpanned trying my hardest to look her in the eye. I wanted to stare at the floor to drop my gaze I knew it would be easier if I did but I had to know what she was feeling what she was thinking.

Alice swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. "I just needed some space."

"Well I've given you space three long days of space and now I deserve to know." I let out a heavy breath preparing my question. "I need to know if you feel what I feel. You kissed me…I know you feel something you have to." She had to.

She shook her head slowly like she was telling herself 'no' but she said nothing. "I don't feel anything." She looked me in the eye speaking barley above a whisper. "That's why I kissed you to see if I did and I don't and I just thought it would be easier on you if we stopped being friends." Alice crossed her arms retreating into herself.

She was lying she had to be. "But…but…" Jasper, Edward they saw it why couldn't she. "But…Jasper and…'

"Bella look I don't want you here okay, this is my family okay you can't have them! I know you don't have a family but you can't have mine! Just go okay they don't want you." Alice raised her voice and I just did nothing.

I can't honestly believe what she's saying she thinks I want her family, I mean it was nice feeling like I was apart of their family for a little while but that was just a perk I would easily give it up. I think I gaped at her a little but I just didn't know how to take in what she said. I left without saying another word she could have the last word I didn't care anymore. The worst thing about telling someone your fears and your secrets is that they can always throw them back in you face. I knew I shouldn't have told her all those things but I went against my better judgment and now I was paying the price.

As I rolled to a stop in the driveway I cut the engine and wiped at my eyes with the rough edge of my jacket. I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay I wouldn't let her win. I let out my anger on the steering wheel punching the rim with the side of my balled up fist in an effort to replace all of my useless feelings with anger. She says I have no family I have a great mom and dad. I took a moment looking at my reflection in the small rear view mirror. I wasn't to bad I blinked once or twice trying to get some of the redness away.

Charlie was sitting where he can usually be found on the couch staring at the TV feet up on the coffee table.

"Hey dad what you watching?" I asked trying to mask my sadness but it just came out as emotionless.

"Poker." Charlie replied without taking his eyes from the screen.

I took the seat next to him, "Can I watch with you for a while?"

"Sure bud."

I put my feet up on the table and leaned my head against his shoulder and I knew now that this was my family and it may not be much but it's mine.

"Anybody score yet?"

"It's poker honey," he said putting his arm around my shoulder giving me a small shake.

Xxx

I stared at the blank piece of paper like I could somehow will the words to appear. I thought it would be a good idea to write Alice a letter since I couldn't talk to her and I honestly didn't want to look at her again. I tapped the pen against then inspiration hit.

**Dear Alice,**

Wait why am I writing dear? She's not dear to me. I scratched out the word and balled up the paper tossing it in the trash.

**Alice, I hate you please die. **

Okay that's a little dramatic even for me. I scratched the words out and tore out the page putting it in the trash next to the other.

**Alice,**

I tapped my pen against the desk reading the name over and over and trying to remember what Alice means to me. I imagined her face the first time I saw her, how I still got that same feeling last week when she walked into my room like she seemed to just make everything easier. I could almost feel the weight of her arms around me holding me. I would never get to feel that again.

**I don't want to like you anymore, if I could make myself stop I would. You said some pretty mean things to me and I don't want to like you I don't want to think about you. I don't want to see you or touch you or have you breath the same fucking air. So please stop making me want these things, let me go. **

I brought my nails down the page scratching it out of the pad and throwing it in the trash. It didn't even make sense she's not keeping me from anything or anyone but why does it feel like I'm a hostage in my own heart. I tossed the whole pad of paper in the trash and decided that writing is not my strong suit either. I started up my ancient computer and as it was loading my cell phone started to buzz. I looked at the screen before I answered and held the phone up to my ear.

"Hi, mom."

"Bella what's wrong?"

Okay that's freaky there's no way she could tell something was up just by the tone of my voice. "Nothing mom, how are you and Phil?"

"Phil and I are great now stop trying to change the subject what's wrong?" Renee's voice cracked through the phone and I had forgot how much I missed it.

I dragged my useless body over to the bed flopping down to stare at the ceiling. "It's nothing there's just this girl."

"Is this the one you were telling me about?"

"Yeah Alice that's her, well I thought she liked me and we were getting along great but then she just turns around and tells me she has no feelings for me just out of nowhere. I don't know what to do mom I really like her and ugh it's just so difficult sometimes." I sighed into the phone trying not to get into the specifics.

"Bella honey maybe she's just scared."

"She's not scared, she's not afraid of anything."

"You don't actually believe that do you? Everyone's scared when it comes to love it's frightening. Especially if she's never had feelings for another girl before."

Alice and I had been steadily progressing for over a month it couldn't have been to fast for her any slower and we would have been going backward. "What do you mean?"

Renee chuckled down the phone but I failed to see what was funny. "Sometimes I forget how young you are you know that. Do you remember how you felt the first time you realized you liked a girl?"

I paused for a moment recalling a girl named Sarah it had been a few years since I thought about her. I was a wreck I was in denial for almost a year before I admitted it to myself never mind anyone else. "Yeah I remember."

"Well she's probably going through the same."

"But what if she's not? What if she just doesn't want me?" I asked in hopes of some wisdom.

"That's a lot of what if's." Renee's breath crackled through the phone. "I'm running out of quarters so I've got to be quick but just remember I love you okay honey."

"I love you too mom."

The phone cut out and I had a lot of stuff to think about. I never thought it could be because I'm a girl. Could she be afraid of the fact she has feeling for another girl?

Xxx

My eyelids felt heavy as I folded the last of the laundry and piled it high in the basket. It was only five o'clock but having gotten only four hours of sleep can make you pretty tired. Renee's words still swam around my mind coming to surface almost every ten minutes. She shouldn't get to have the last word I should tell her how I feel or maybe I should stop telling and just listen. I'm so confused I can't even think straight anymore. Not that 'thinking straight' was my talent. I scrawled Charlie a quick note encase he came back early but he wasn't supposed to be back until late tonight but I knew he would worry if I didn't. Not bothering to get my jacket and I hopped in the truck and drove off quickly in fear of loosing my nerve. I wished over and over that I could have the strength to stay away, to fight this pull Alice had over me but I don't. I knocked on the door and I had the oddest feeling of déjà vu as I did so. I looked everywhere except the door as it swung open to reveal an emotionless mask I used to know as Alice.

I focused on my words and nothing else to make sure I got to say what I came here to say,"Alice…what you said the other day really hurt me and I told you that stuff in confidence and…"

As I was speaking Alice clutched onto the side of the door and bent over in pain letting out a strangled yelp.

"Alice, are you okay?" I asked as I bent down to see her face.

"I don't know what's wrong." Alice hissed in pain. "It's been like this for an hour." Alice panted heavily.

Oh my god the baby's not coming is it? No it's to early for that. "Where's Carlisle? Carlisle! Carlisle!" I yelled panic stricken.

"He's not here." Alice could barley speak without hissing in pain. "They went to Seattle it's the first time they've been out in months. I'm not calling them just because of a little pain." Alice said and I just rolled my eyes at how stupid she was being.

I tried to rub soothing circles into her back as I helped her into the living room and sitting her on the couch. She grabbed a pillow and dug her nails into as she continued to take short sharp breaths.

"Don't they teach you about this stuff in that lasagna class?" My voice was somehow two octaves higher than usual as I spoke.

"It's Lamaze and no they don't."

Same difference this is not the time to argue. I started to pace the floor trying to think. "What about Emmett or Rosalie?"

"Emmett's camping no cell reception and Rose is in Seattle."

So they left her here alone, I ran my hand through my hair trying to think so something…anything.

"Stop pacing." Alice shot at me.

"We need to call Carlisle he'll know what to do."

"No I'm fine I just gotta ride it out."

Ride it out what the hell did she think this was an amusement at six flags. Alice groaned in pain and that was it. "That's it! I'm taking you to the hospital."

"No!" She sputtered stubbornly but as another wave of pain hit she scrunched her eyes closed and I couldn't watch. "Fine lets go." She relented.

I moved to help her off the couch and it was slightly awkward as I took her hand but there was no time for awkwardness jellybean could be in trouble. Alice almost crushed my hand as I helped her off the couch and I tried not to say ouch.

"Get my stuff please." She pointed to a bag and a coat and I left her only for a split second. I flung the stuff over my shoulder and went back to the bone crushing hold she had on my hand. For such a small person she is freakishly strong.

I had to let go of her hand to drive and she bit her lip and I knew she was trying to silence the pain. I drove as fast as I legally could to the hospital and rushed up to the reception almost slipping on the tiled floor.

"Hey I have a pregnant girl here and she's in pain." Alice pushed me to the side and seemed to be getting control on the situation.

"Hi I'm Alice Cullen I need to see doctor Stone…it's an emergency."

"Okay take a seat and I'll page the doctor." A nice older nurse asked and pointed us to the waiting room.

We took our seats in the empty waiting room and I tapped my foot nervously against the floor in no particular rhythm but the constant motion seemed to be helping.

"It's going to be okay." Alice told me placing her hand on my knee steadying the motion.

How could she know? How could she know it wasn't something serious? I should call Carlisle. "How do you know?"

"I don't but you're worrying enough for the both of us."

"Worrying is what I'm good at. You should have seen how worried I was when I had to go on stage to give the Getty's burg address in elementary school. I actually threw up in this kids hat." I spat out like word vomit.

Alice laughed and I smiled at her bell like laughter it was a nice distraction. "You worry to much." A man in a white coat and glasses approached us and Alice stood up and so did I.

"Hello Alice I'll see you in exam room two." Alice followed and I didn't know if I should go too but I thought it wrong to follow them.

"I'll just get you back here," I said quietly as I took my seat again.

I can't believe I go to tell her how mad I am and I end up worrying alone in a hospital waiting room what a change of events. I let my eyes close as leaned back in the chair. If I was quiet enough I could almost hear the dull thump of my heart. Ten minutes past easily and there was still no sight or sound from the doctors or nurses. I bought a cup of coffee from one of the machines and the noise of the coffee beans grinding filled the empty hall. I took the scalding hot cup from the machine and gently blew over the top before returning to my seat.

I had just finished reading through last years vanity fair when Alice came back into the waiting room rather awkwardly brushing her bare arms and tugging on the short sleeves of her shirt.

"Can I have my coat please?" Alice held out her had and I passed her the coat.

I had been out here for like an half an hour and all she says is 'can I have my coat.' "Is everything okay? Is the baby okay what was wrong?"

"I'll tell you in the car can we just get out of here, I hate hospitals."

I slung Alice's bag over my shoulder and headed out of the small hospital. It was starting to get dark but that wasn't unusual for this time of year. I opened her door helping her get up into the cab and then seated myself. I wasn't going to go anywhere until she told me what happened. We could sit here all night if need be.

"I'm not going till you tell me." I tightened my grasp on the steering wheel, I know it was unfair I pretty much had her trapped here but I didn't see another way so I ignored the pang of guilt that cropped up.

"Everything's fine, the doctor just said I've been stressing myself. I just need to get some rest he gave me some pills and a prescription I'm going to be fine." Alice seemed to be relaxed as she spoke and gave me a small smile but it was hardly reassuring me.

Edward said this would happen my presence has been stressing her out. I started the truck and it gave a loud backfire as I pulled out of the car park and headed for the Cullen house. We drove in silence put I could see that Alice was looking at me from the corner of my eye. I parked close to the door and hopped out splashing onto the gravel. I only stepped into the house to put Alice's bag on the floor but before I had the chance to leave Alice spoke up.

"Would you please say something you're scaring me." Alice's voice was raised but not threatening as she spoke.

She was scared of me? How is that even possible? I had no idea what to say that's why I wasn't speaking.

"Please okay I know I hurt you and I said some stuff I didn't mean but please just yell at me tell me you hate me just get it over with." Alice crossed her arms over he chest preparing her defense.

"I don't hate you Alice, I don't have it in me to hate you. I just want to know why…why lead me on all this time if you felt nothing for me? Was it some sort of sick game to you? Huh to use my feelings against me and see what you could do, how far you could make me fall."

"What…how could you think that? You think I'm capable of something like that? Something that horrible." Alice scrunched her eyes narrowing them like she was trying to see me more clearly.

"I didn't until you threw the family stuff back in my face and by the way I don't care if I can count all the people I love on one hand that's my family mine I don't need yours."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean that when I said it, I was angry and scared." Alice took a step towards me but I took a step back and she stopped. "You scare me…your so nice and loving and loyal."

Nice I sound like a labrador I crossed my arms waiting for her to get to the 'but.'

"I wanted to be the same for you I did, I fell for you without even realizing it. I always thought that love was grand gestures like singing while sliding down a flagpole or showing up in a limo with a single read rose but I see now that that was stupid. You showed me that love is always being there even when you don't want be. That loving someone can be as simple as knowing what color pen they like to use or listening to them complain and picking them up when their feet hurt. I realized that when I kissed you I was filling in the blank spaces in my life. I love you Bella… I'm in love with you and that scares me more than anything in this world because I don't know how to love someone like you."

I closed the gap between us enclosing my hands around her delicate face drawing her lightly into me kissing her with all the love I could muster. I moved my lips with a slow steady rhythm as Alice seemed to relax into my hold running her hands down my sides. I smiled into the kiss as I pulled away just a fraction just enough to lean my forehead against hers. I could feel her breath cross my face in heavy uneven pants.

"You don't get to run away this time okay." I whispered as I picked up her hand and intertwined her fingers with mine.

Alice drew mindless shapes on my side and it was a little ticklish as I trembled under her touch. She nodded her head and looked at me with a shocked expression.

"The baby is kicking." Alice spoke as she placed our intertwined hands over her baby bump and I was amazed when I felt the sensation of kicking coming from inside of her.

Alice chuckled at my wide-eyed expression and I brought my hand up to lightly move a strand of hair behind her ear. As I exposed her skin I leaned down to place a soft kiss just under the shell of her ear and she sighed.

"I love you too." I whispered in a low tone.

"I know."

Xxx

It was my favorite time of day lunch. I took my seat beside Alice and as soon as did she slipped her hand into mine under the table and I couldn't help the smile that tugged on my lips.

"Hey guys how was the camping trip?" I asked either of them.

"It was great…you should have seen Emmett, I bet him he couldn't catch a fish with his bare hands he was out there for hours just splashing in the river." Jasper laughed at his own story and we all joined along.

"I wish I could have gone with you guys, I'm so sick of being pregnant all I can do is sit around and read those disturbing pregnancy books."

"There not disturbing." Edward cut in with a roll of his eyes.

"Have you read one? There worse than that last saw movie." Alice shivered and I tried not to laugh.

"Would you go on a date with me?" I asked lowering my voice turning to speak only to Alice.

"Bella I really don't want to go out, everyone stares at me I hate it." Alice said pouting slightly.

I really wanted to take Alice out I mean we hadn't even been on a proper first date. I hated that she felt like she couldn't go out. "We don't have to go out just leave it to me." I was struck with an idea and smiled a wide grin and I could tell she wanted to know but I was keeping this a surprise.

"What…what is it? Tell me please," She begged.

"Nope but I think I might need some time to get everything ready. So what about Friday I'll pick you up."

"What should I wear? Where are we going? I need to know these things." She chuckled but I knew she was just digging for clues.

"Nope wear what you want it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters are you trying to say it doesn't matter what I wear because I'm fat and pregnant and there's no way I can look nice."

How the hell did she get that from what I said? I tried to think of something quickly. "Um…no…I didn't mean that I thin you look beautiful no matter what."

"Oh…okay." Alice spoke surprised.

"Awe Edward they're so cute." Jasper smiled sarcastically and leaned his head on his shoulder.

Xxx

"Right no peeking!" I spoke close in her ear as I kept her eyes covered with the palm of my hand.

"I'm not peeking and I know where we are. I have been to your room before."

"This isn't my bedroom Ali, we are outside in the deep wilderness." I tried to do my best narration voice as I slowly opened the door.

I let my hand drop and Alice opened her eyes taking in my newly redecorated room. Okay maybe it was just a tent made from some bed sheets and old Christmas lights taped to the ceiling but I think it's the thought that counts.

"Wow you did this for me?"

"Well I know you like camping and I like… Christmas lights so it's the best of both." I gestured arms open walking into the middle of the room. Alice continued to look around the room her eyes never stopping. "You hate it don't you it's stupid and childish."

"No I love it." Alice closed the gap between us and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "It's so…you."

"Is that a good thing?" I asked nervously.

"It's an amazing thing," She smiled and I moved a wisp of hair so I could see her beautiful eyes.

I grabbed her hand pulling her to sit in the small tent. The floor was littered with pillows and it reminded me of all the times I used to do this.

"So what do you have planned now?" Alice asked with a sly smile.

"Well being as we are in the wilderness miles from any sign of civilized life or even a McDonalds…we need to cook our own food."

I pulled out a small fondue set that had some cheese melting on a small candle flame. I handed Alice a fork and I began to dip bread in the molten cheese.

"You thought of everything haven't you?" Alice laughed. "Thank you…this is the best first date I've ever had."

"Thanks this is my only first date so I wanted it to be special." I added

"Wait you mean I'm your first date." Alice said slightly shocked.

She was my first everything but I wasn't sure if I should tell her that it might freak her out. She does have a tendency to be a little skittish. "Sorry that doesn't freak you out does it?"

"No it actually makes me feel kind of…I don't know special."

"You are special…to me." I said taking another piece of bread. "So who was your first date?"

Alice swallowed hard and looked at me with knitted brows, "Why do you want to know that?"

"I just do," it was obviously apart of her past and I wanted to know about her past.

She looked to the ceiling rolling her eyes high in he head. "His name was Peter he was really handsome, not that smart and we went ice-skating. This was when I lived in Alaska. What about you who was your… first kiss?"

Damn I should have seen this coming, should I lie? No that's stupid I should tell her. "Well it was a girl." I paused and Alice nodded at the obvious fact. "She was a little stubborn at times but she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen." I glanced at Alice through my lashes and she frowned slightly which made me want to laugh but I managed to continue, "Her favorite color is gold, which I say is a fancy yellow…she has the most expressive green eyes that I love to stare at and she's sitting in this room."

Alice blinked for a moment then I think it hit her. "Wow you don't like keep her in the closet or under the floorboards do you?"

I laughed a deep belly laugh as I took in the deadly serious expression on her face. "No it's you, you're my first kiss but way to ruin a nice moment," I joked. "Right I think it's the perfect time for some star gazing. We should have clear skies all night." I crawled out of the tent and turned to help Alice get up.

I moved over to the bead and I laid down first on the deep purple sheets scooting over to the edge so Alice could lie down beside me. I had to say that old Christmas lights did actually look like little stars…well if you don't use the multi-colored ones that is. "So is this as good as camping outdoors?" I questioned staring at the fabricated night sky.

"It's better," Alice sighed as she moved to lay he head on my chest as curled my arm around her back pulling her into me. I could feel Alice's pregnant belly pressed up against my side but I didn't care. There was enough room for the three of us.

Xxx

"Is there really any use to figuring out what 'x' means their just going to change it on the next question." I wined to Alice as we sat at her dining room table trying to complete this week's dose of homework.

Alice lifted her head from the oversized textbook to look at me and I tried to lighten my bored expression.

"Do you need any help at all?" Alice asked glancing at the sheet of paper that was covered in random doodles.

"No I'll just finish it at home or in the parking lot before school, I need to be in the right state of mind for homework."

"And what state of mind is that?"

"Last minute panic or extreme boredom which ever comes first." I rambled leaning my elbow on the dark mahogany table and cradled my face in my hand. "Have you thought of anymore names yet?"

"What about Apple?" Alice said scribbling another answer on the paper.

"No thanks I'm not hungry." I replied honestly.

"No," Alice chuckled drawing out the word. "I meant for the baby."

"I think the baby's a little young for solids just yet even I know that." I said mindlessly drawing patterns on the table.

Alice pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed and I was enjoying annoying her a little more than I should but it's just too easy.

"I meant as Apple as a possible name."

She wasn't going to name the baby after a fruit or a high tech business she isn't famous enough to get away with that.

"You're not naming my grandchild after a fruit." Esme entered taking the words from my mouth as she placed a tray on the side of the table.

"Thank you Esme." I smiled opening my arms into a hug like gesture. "See Esme gets it. If you're so set on Apple make that the middle name that's where you can have the fun but remember this kid has to live through high school." At the word high school Alice pursed her lips and I knew she could see my logic.

"Do you have anymore ideas then, since you're so smart."

"Thanks Ali I do try." I gave a cheesy smile before I prepared my answer. "Okay what about Mark?"

"Marks a nice name but I didn't really want a biblical name I wanted something individual."

"Well I guess that rules out John, Paul, George and Ringo." I joked.

"Hmmm Ringo…"

"Ali, that was a joke."

"But still…"

"What about Lennon?" I questioned as I thought over the name and it sounded good in my head.

"I like Lennon, Okay we'll keep that in the maybe pile."

"What else is in the maybe pile?"

"Nothing." Alice glance up at me then back to her book.

XXX

I hopped out my truck with a yawn. I couldn't call it a good morning until I saw Alice. I spotted them all standing around Edwards Volvo. I jogged up to them and I felt a tug in my chest as I wanted to embrace Alice in a hug and kiss her but we had decided to play it low key. I'm starting to forget why we decided that.

"Good morning," Alice said almost bouncing with excitement.

She is way to chipper for this time of day but I love her anyway even if she is a morning person. "It's looking that way." I replied as I stuffed my hands in my pockets. I may not be able to touch her but I could still look at her like I wanted to.

She smirked, "What class do you have first?"

"Biology," I said with scorn. "What about you?"

"History."

I wish we could have more classes together. "I'll walk you to class." I said as Alice nodded. We headed for the steps and as we walked so close together our arms were almost melded together. "Why are we doing this low key thing again?" I strained to ask.

"Because I just don't want the gossip,"

I could understand that fact but there was a little nagging feeling inside that said she didn't want to acknowledge our relationship. I mean we haven't really spoken about where we are. Maybe I should ask her to 'officially' be my girlfriend. I huffed again watching the cold air expel from my mouth. "It's just so hard when all I want to do is hold your hand," I don't think I was asking for much.

We got to Alice's history class and the hall was deserted but it was still pretty early to be headed for class. Alice looked both ways down the hall and I followed her gaze. She took a small step forward going up on her toes she cupped my face and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. It only lasted a split second but I wanted more. "I'm sorry."

I could see in her eyes that she was sorry and I quickly checked the hall for any students. Once I was sure they were completely empty I grinned as I pulled Her towards me capturing her bottom lip in mine running my tongue along the soft pink flesh. Alice always seemed to run at a colder temperature than me and her lips were like ice melting in my mouth. I pulled away double-checking no one had seen us and I think we were in the clear.

I chuckled at Alice's dazed expression, as she seemed to be a million miles away. "If I only get one to last me today I wanted to make it count."

"I'll remember that next time."

"You better, "I threatened lightly. "So how much longer do you think we'll be sneaking around?"

"Not much longer I promise."

"Pinky promise?" I asked holding out my pinky. She looked at my hand then back to me and had that 'your so odd' look on her face but I knew she liked it.

"Your so weird." Alice said grinning and shaking her head. She hooked her pinky with mine as I squeezed her finger in mine sealing the promise.

"I know that's why you love me." I smiled.

She tiled her head from side to side as I let go of her pinky, she seemed to be thinking about what I just said trying to come up with a suitable come back but seemed to only sigh.

"Damn you have me there."

The doors to the hall swung open and two girls headed to their lockers and I thought I better get moving before I end up late to class. I took a few steps back risking falling on my ass just so I could look at her a little longer before I left. "Bye see you in English." I gave a small wave and she returned my goodbye as I spun on my heel now rushing my way to biology.

I got to Biology just as the Bell rang and I got to our table as Angela moved her books making room for me on the table. I panted slightly trying to catch my breath but luckily I notice the Mr. Banner wasn't here yet.

"Hey Bella how was your weekend."

I thought back to my date and smiled at the memory. I think that's one of my happiest memories ever. "Not much, you?"

"Just the usual, I had a babysitting job so I made some money all in all not a bad weekend. How come you were so late for class I saw you go into the building like twenty minutes ago?"

I knew I should of seen this coming I hate lying to Angela and I know she knows so I might as well just tell her. "I was walking Alice to class."

"Are you two?" Angela led off looking at me speculatively and I knew what she was getting at. "Just because I hardly see you anymore you sit with them at lunch and we haven't hung out after school in like months."

Angela gave me a frown and I felt like an ass. I didn't want to be one of those people who got in a relationship and ignored their friends. Angela's been a great friend ever since I got here and I just left her.

"I'm sorry Ang, I know I've been busy and I feel a little torn between sitting with you guys and sitting with Alice. Why don't you and Ben sit with us today and we can catch up. I got the new national geographic."

Angela's face lit up at the prospect of seeing the magazine and I loved that Angela had a thing for photography almost as bad as I did, maybe even worse.

"Did you see the one last month on wolves it was amazing."

I shook my head and Angela continued to ramble about how amazing it was.

(Later that day)

Lunch rolled around and I found Angela just in the midst of closing her locker. I put my hand on her back to surprise her and she spun around with the biggest surprised look on her face I had to laugh.

"Well aren't you in a good mood?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" I questioned back as we started to walk towards the cafeteria.

"No… no reason at all." Angela grinned.

As we entered the cafeteria I spotted Alice and her brothers all ready sitting down. I had brought my lunch today so I told Angela I would she her in a minute.

I took the open seat beside Alice swinging it around so we were closer together. "Hey guys I hope you don't mind but I invited Angela and her boyfriend Ben to sit with us."

"That's great I like Angela but I've never really spoken to her." Alice replied and I looked to the guys for conformation and they just nodded.

"Yeah she's kind of shy at first but then once she gets over that it's hard getting her to shut up."

"Hi Bella." Ben spoke and I looked up to see him staring awkwardly at the table. He had his tray in one hand and Angela's hand the other.

I kicked out the seat on my other side in the universal symbol for 'sit here'. Making it easier for them to adjust to the new table dynamics. Angela took the seat beside me then Ben sat between her and Jasper.

"Hey we were thinking about going to the beach this weekend. It's supposed to be sunny so might as well make the most of it." Angela piped up breaking the silence.

The beach sounded good I hadn't been down to La Push in ages and it wasn't too strenuous for Alice. I looked to my right to Alice silently asking what she thought about it. She bit her lip and I knew she was worried about it being so close to the due date but we still had like a week or so left. Sensing her internal battle I put my hand on top of hers and brought our intertwined hands to rest on my knee.

"Sure sounds fun." Alice spoke up and we fell into easy conversation.

The guys had started to argue about the best weapon on some war game and Angela just rolled her eyes and pretended to listen and agree with whatever Ben said.

"Are you okay?" I whispered to Alice so low I could barely hear it.

She squeezed my hand with a slight smile to assure me she was. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I didn't quite believe her I don't know why I just had a nagging feeling in my brain. "If this is about the beach thing we don't have to go. I'm happy just staying in and watching movies."

"No we should go, we haven't been out in forever I feel like I'm keeping you hostage or something." She giggled and it found its way to her eyes and I didn't feel that nagging feeling anymore.

"Well I'm a willing prisoner, if it means being with you then I don't want to be free."

Alice rolled her eyes but couldn't stop from smirking. She drew shapes with her thumb in the palm of my hand and it sent a shiver straight up my spine.

"That's good to know."

We both chuckled and I could see her eyes searching the table for something. "What you looking for?"

"I'm still hungry."

I chuckled under my breath and took out my lunch out of the brown bag handing Alice some of her favorite peanut butter candy.

"How do you know my one weakness?"

"Because I know you." I replied simply. "Do you know my weakness?" I asked wondering if she would guess herself. She had to be my one weakness.

"Hmmm." Alice pressed her lips into a tight line and looked to the ceiling for a moment then back at me. "Animals dressed as humans."

I wanted to spit out my drink at how ridiculous that was. "No…not even close." I stuttered putting my drink back on the table.

Xxx

I was up slightly earlier than normal for a Saturday but I tried to forget about going back to bed and went over my list of things to do. Eat breakfast then go pick up Alice and head to la Push. So if I eat now I should be at Alice's in like twenty minutes.

The sun streamed through my bed room window and I was actually happy that I could use some of my 'Arizona clothes' as I called them but I was still putting some 'forks clothes' in my truck just encase. It would just be my luck to get there and it would start raining. Then I would be stuck in a downpour just wearing shorts a t-shirt and some flip-flops.

I walked into the kitchen to see Charlie flicking thought the paper tuting under his breath and shaking his head.

"Hey honey, where you off to this morning."

I opened the fridge and quickly grabbed the milk pouring myself a bowl of cereal. "Just gonna go to the beach with some friends."

"It's a nice day for the beach, I wish I could get off work and do some fishing but duty calls." Charlie got up from his seat putting his cup and plate in the sink and headed for the door.

"Have a good day at work," I shouted after him.

"Sure thing Bells."

I inhaled my cereal and made my way to my truck. Praying it would start I turned the keys and the engine roared to life. It was a peaceful ride to Alice's house as I tried to get a radio station that wasn't in French but gave up after the third try. The tree's whipped by and I leaned my arm out the open window. One thing I liked about Forks was the air it was still cold but refreshing at the same time.

I parked close to the door and Alice had probably heard me from the street but I still decided to knock on the door. I waited for a second or so swaying back on my heels. Alice opened the door and I was still amazed every time I saw her by how beautiful she is. It's like my mind can't do her any justice and every time I see her I forget how beautiful she is. Her floral patterned sundress swayed beautiful in the breeze

"Hey." I spoke softly taking a step forward putting my left hand on her side bringing her into me. "You look amazing." I whispered giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks." She smiled a light blush coloring her cheeks. She really needs to be better at taking compliments. "You look beautiful too the sun really suits you."

I didn't fully understand what that meant but maybe I looked tanned compared to Alice. That would only be compared to Alice thou any other time I must look part albino.

"We should get going."

"Sure just let me get my bag." Alice spoke and I waited for her to leave as she turned slightly just a fraction then stopped.

I waited for her to move unsure of what she was doing then I felt it.

"I think my water just broke." Alice said her eyes growing wide with panic.

"I knew it was a bad day to wear flip flops."

**A/N – Thanks for reading:} I tried hard to create a love hate relationship but it was harder than I thought to hate Alice. **

**P.S- I love to read your reviews they make me want to finish all my half written stories:]**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Again thanks for the reviews:} there a real boost for writers block. I know this is shorter than the other chapters but I tried to add more. I don't know if it'll be what you were expecting but I hope you all like it regardless:)**

"MOM!" Alice yelled and it rang through the house.

I grasped Alice's arm lightly as she started to tremble. What am I supposed to do? Everything I know about childbirth comes from movies and TV should I boil some water and tear up some blankets? What…no Bella she's not giving birth under the stairs.

"Esme!" I yelled into the house.

Esme entered stopping quickly her shoes making a high picked shriek as they hit the hardwood floor. I was trying to stay calm. Just remember to breath I told myself over in over in attempts to stop a panic attack. It was like time had stopped and nothing was happening. Why was nothing happening?

"Mom I think the baby is coming." Alice spoke with a mixture of shock and fear as she placed a hand over her stomach.

"Come on darling, just remember to breath. Remember what we practiced." Esme took a few deep breaths and I followed her instructions to the letter.

"Bella go and tell the boys there out in the yard."

I didn't want to leave Alice. I think my legs turned to Jell-O and my grip on Alice's arm was the only thing keeping me standing. Esme gave me a pointed look and my brain just seemed to snap into action.

I ran through the house throwing open the double doors to the back yard. Emmett and Edward stopped tossing the football and turned to look at me as Jasper looked up from his book.

"Guys the baby is coming…like right now." I gasped saying the words out loud had my head rolling I think I may faint…god this is like biology all over again.

Emmett seemed frozen and Edward and Jasper jumped on top of him excitedly pushing him to the floor. Emmett threw them both of in a swift movement and seemed to move their weight without any bother. They made there way into the house I lead the way to the living room where Alice and Esme were sitting on the couch. Esme rubbed the back of Alice's hand and checked her watch.

"Emmett could you get the car ready? The bag is in the closet by the door on the top shelf."

"Should we call dad, let him know?" Jasper spoke and I felt like I had no use at all.

"Yeah you do that, tell him we'll be there soon." Esme was calm and collected as she spoke.

I walked around to Esme's other side and took Alice's hand in mine. Her grip was like iron and I got a feel of some of the fear she must be feeling right now. I brushed my thumb against the back of her palm. Her green eyes were marred with worry and I could tell she was in no way expecting this.

"You better have that name ready," I tried to smile.

Alice bit her lip nodding only slightly. Emmett rushed back in bag over his shoulder.

"Right everything is ready to go." Emmett came to my side and I let him help Alice to the car.

"Bell…a." Alice let out a strangled yelp.

"I'm right behind you Ali, I'm gonna get a ride with Edward and Jazz." I reassured her.

I got in the back of the Volvo and Alice went with Esme in the Mercedes. Edward started the car and began to follow the black Mercedes.

"I can't believe Emmett's going to be a father, that's scary. Do you think we should phone Rose?" Edward rambled while turning the wheel.

I'm confused why would Emmett be the father?

"Yeah it's crazy, I already called her she's racing here as we speak she doesn't want to miss the birth of her first child."

"What are you guys talking about?" I leaned forward to get a better view of their faces. "Why is Emmett the father and how is this Rosalie's child?"

"Well it's Emmett and Rosalie's baby they are adopting it. Didn't Alice ever mention that? I thought you knew." Jasper tilted one side of his mouth in an almost dumfounded expression.

"No she failed to mention that." I bit sarcastically. I couldn't believe I thought she was keeping the baby how could I have been so stupid. I thought over the last few months seeing if maybe she had mentioned it in passing but there was nothing. She made no mention of it at all maybe I should have seen it coming I mean Alice never bought any baby clothes and I never heard her speak about a nursery or anything to do with the future but then why was she naming it? "Well if the baby is Rosalie's then why is Alice getting to pick the name?"

"She said she could." jasper answered simply and I couldn't argue with his logic.

We arrived at the hospital and we were only minutes behind the rest. The maternity section of the hospital was small but there was a waiting room with couches and the usual old magazines. We got settled in but there was an anticipation well maybe that was just me. I couldn't sit still like them I got on my feet using the movement for a distraction as thoughts raced a track in my head. If Alice knew Rose couldn't have children did she do this on purpose? No…no she wouldn't do that, that's crazy. She wouldn't right?

"Stop pacing your making me dizzy." Edward grabbed the front of his hair leaning forward like he was going to throw up.

"I can't I need to know what's happening. Why are they taking so long to tell us anything?" I complained making a scene as one of the nurses just stared at me but I could care less.

"It takes a long time we could be hear for hours even a day so just calm down."

I stopped pacing and took in Edward's words. A day? Wow usually you just see the last push looks like it takes about ten minutes.

Emmett came back down the hall and we all looked to him for any information. "Bella…Alice is asking for you. Just go down the hall third door on the right." I walked around Emmett as he stayed to talk to his brothers.

I pushed open the door and Alice was already looking much calmer. I moved apprehensively toward her unsure of how to act. I guess she wanted me here so I must be doing something right. I took her hand in mine and my eyes followed a slow path up her arm to her face. She didn't look as scared as she was at the house and I was glad about that. I leaned down brushing some of the wayward spikes of hair out of her eyes and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Hey how you feeling?"

"Much better now they gave me some drugs."

I chuckled at the slightly dazed expression she put on but I still wanted to know one thing. I thought about waiting but I couldn't I needed to now. I was about to ask when a nurse came barreling in. I was about to leave when Alice pulled my hand back towards her chest.

"Please stay." Alice whispered quietly like a frightened child that became lost and just needed someone to hold onto.

I put my chin on the edge of the pillow so we were eye to eye. "Of course…there isn't anywhere else I'd rather be."

Esme and Emmett came in with man I knew as doctor stone. He looked towards us and raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. He checked the machines silently and spoke in hushed words to the nurse.

"Alright Alice it's almost time to start pushing just a little while longer."

Someone let out a sigh and we all turned in the direction of the noise. "Thank god, if Rose misses this she would kill me." Emmett whipped a few beads of sweat from his brow as he sighed in relief.

(A few hours later)

Doctors must have no sense of time because I've been holding Alice's hand for more than two hours and still nothing.

"Hey Ali, can I go get a drink?" I looked towards our hands and she blushed and let go of my hand as I stretched the sore muscles.

"Yeah sorry my mind was wandering."

"I'll be back in a few." I left the room and heeded towards the vending machines. My lips were like sandpaper and water seemed to just call out to me. Checking my phone I had five text and two missed calls all from Angela. Crap I forgot to call her. I quickly texted her telling her there was an emergency and that I was really sorry. Then texted Charlie hopefully he would be able to figure out how to read it.

I passed Rose pacing the hall her laser like gaze focused on the floor, I wanted to say something reassuring but we didn't really know each other that well. I stopped and looked at her when we heard a yell come from Alice's room. We both turned our heads like a deer hearing a cracked branch. The doctor, a nurse, Emmett and Esme were all in the room and it was beginning to feel a little full.

I thought about leaving as I edged backwards my back almost flushed with the wall. No one even noticed me they were all to busy crowding around Alice as the doctor gave little notes like 'push' and 'breath'. I really wish I had stayed with Edward and Jazz as Alice screamed in agony. There was about twenty minutes of yelling and I'd never heard Alice curse so much in my life it would have been funny if she weren't in pain. Then the room was silent as we heard the cries of a newborn baby.

"It's a boy!" Doctor stone called and Emmett pumped his fist in the air.

The new baby boy was wrapped in a blanket and given to Alice who looked like she was about to pass out. Alice looked down into his eyes and I could tell they had a bond instantly. You could almost see it.

"Have you chosen a name yet?" Esme Asked.

"Yeah…Reilly." She spoke softly and gazed into little Reilly's eyes. I liked Reilly. I could see already he had a head full of midnight black hair.

Alice passed him to Rosalie and she cradled him gently in her Arms as she began to cry. "I'm not crying…I just got something in my eye."

Emmett embraced her into a gentle hug and they looked like the perfect family. Edward, Jasper and Carlisle entered the room and you could tell this baby was going to be so…spoiled.

"Where's my grandson?" Carlisle called.

I ignored the room for a minute focusing on my heartbeat, which seemed to be coming from the other side of the room. Alice seemed to have fallen asleep somehow in all this commotion and Esme started ushering everyone out the room.

"Come on she needs her sleep. "Esme said

"I just want to sit in here for a little while. "I told Esme and she nodded closing the door. I sat on the seat moving it closer to Alice's bedside.

(Some hours later.)

I pried open my eyes and my corneas burned in the light. Alice was still asleep and I must have dozed off to. Rosalie was standing on Alice's other side just looking over her.

"How long have I been out?" I asked hearing the gravel in my own voice. I coughed lightly trying to clear it.

"About four hours."

Wow that was long, I didn't even know I was tired. "Where's Reilly?" My voice was course and I could hardly understand what I had said.

"He's in the nursery."

I wiped my eyes and moved to sit back against the chair. "Is she going to be okay?" I nodded toward Alice.

"Yeah she should be fine." Rosalie smirked "Anyone ever tell you, you worry to much."

"Yeah once." I smiled remembering the day I was last in the hospital. That was the day she told me she loved me.

"You looked like you were gonna pass out for a while back there."

"I think I was." I laughed.

"Look after her okay" Rosalie asked making her way towards the door.

Of course I would it's almost like my job except I like it, "Will do."

It had to be hours before Alice seemed to wake. We were the only ones in the room as Jasper had just left to get something to eat.

"What time is it?" Alice asked before her eyes were even open.

"It's almost six."

"I've been asleep that long." Alice yawned and it was kind of cute. Her cheeks seemed to be a rosy pink colour that went perfectly with her pale skin.

"Yep you've probably slept off most of those drugs they gave you."

"Dammit." Alice clicked her fingers making a face and I was glad she was still the same Alice.

"Hey Ali can I ask you something?"

"You just did but sure."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't keeping the baby?" I leaned in closer as I spoke keeping my voice a light whisper.

"I…I don't know." Alice seemed a little dazed but thought hard about the question. "I'm to young to look after a child and Rosalie wanted a child it just seemed to work out. I didn't really think about it."

How could she not think? "So you never thought for a moment about keeping him?"

"He wasn't a he at the time and no I didn't I was scared and alone." Alice spoke without wavering.

"But what about when I was there you weren't alone. I wouldn't have left you alone." I knew what I was saying was crazy in no way was I ready for a kid.

"What did you think I would happen Bella? I have this baby and we all live in my room one big happy family." Alice spoke the truth her voice getting slightly raised and ending with an exhausted chuckle.

Was it so out of the realm of possibility that Alice thought it was laughable I mean it could have worked right, "I thought it was possible." I stood and turned my back on Alice not wanting her to see my face. I don't know why I thought it was possible I just did. Her laugh seemed to cut through me, I felt upset at her blatant dismissal.

"Come on Bella you know it isn't." Alice's voice took on its usual calmness as I heard the sheets rustle and I knew she was sitting up now.

"Why not?" I thought it was possible, we could have been happy together. I felt tears start to well up but I kept them at bay and headed for the door.

"Bella…Bella wait!" Alice shouted but I was already gone. I just needed a moment.

I flowed the yellow stripe in the floor heading nowhere in particular and as I was walking the halls. I heard the sounds of subtle crying and moved in that direction. There was a large window and all the newborn babies well there were only three but still I was instantly brought to the little green eyes of Reilly Cullen. I tried the door and luckily it was open so I moved inside to beside Reilly's crib. He rolled a little and stared up at me. I picked him up gently cradling his head pressing his small body against my chest. The blanket fell loose a little and he got his arm out and stared motioning up and down. His hands were so tiny I put one of my fingers in his whole hand feeling how soft his skin was. Then he gripped my finger so tight. I had no ideas babies were so strong or maybe it's just him. I felt a tear creep into my eyes and I tried to blink it away but I couldn't move my hands.

"Wow you're strong aren't you. You're going to need that having Emmett as a dad, Emmett's going to be a good dad. I'm sorry I'm not going to be able to see you grow up. You're to young to know now but I would like to be there to see you grow up. I mean maybe I'll just get to see you on Saturdays and then you might call me auntie Bella and I can be like one of those aunties that's not really and auntie just a friend of the family but there like family and maybe I can be that for you. Then when your eighteen you can ask me to buy you beer and I'll say no and you'll hate me for a while but then I'll give you some and I'll be cool again. You need to know that you always have people that love you it doesn't matter who your mom or dad are."

"Bella." There was a gentle knock at the door and I turned to see Rosalie leaning against the frame. "I'm sorry."

I had no idea what she was sorry about but it felt like what Alice and me had just argued about. "Don't be sorry Rosalie, Your ready, your gonna be a great mom, I know I'm too young to even think about looking after a kid."

I swayed a little with Reilly in my arms and he closed his eyes a little.

"I know but I just feel like you came into this family expecting one thing and preparing yourself and I know that even though you aren't ready that doesn't mean you weren't willing to take up the task."

Rosalie's words seemed to bring a smile to my face. I handed Reilly over to his mother "Hey Rose can you tell Alice that I love her and I'll be back tomorrow morning." I just needed some time to think and a shower.

"Sure thing." Rosalie spoke cuddling into her new baby.

I got home pretty late but as soon as I was through the door Charlie shot up of the couch and was mid question before I could even take my shoes off.

"Bells how did it go? What happened? Is Alice alright?" Charlie spoke with concern and I paced slowly to the stairs before I answered.

"She's fine, it was a boy…Reilly seven pounds six ounces. I'm really tired I think I'm just going to crash it's been a long day."

Charlie coughed sticking his thumbs in his belt as he mumbled "Of course, of course goodnight Bells."

"Night dad."

XXX

The hospital was quiet but it is a small town so that wasn't unusual. I was a frequenter here but usually just bumps and bruises. I'm never in this part of the hospital.

"Hi I'm here to see Alice Cullen." I spoke to a young woman in scrubs.

"Sure just down the hall on the left room five." She said with a smile as she moved some charts.

I walked slowly down the hall. My stomach felt uneasy as I passed door after door and I didn't have any plans on what I was going to say. I just hope she doesn't hate me for leaving yesterday. I reached the door and put my hand on the edge slowly pushing it open. Alice noticed me she was standing looking out the small window on the far side of the room. Her dark blue pajamas made her skin look even paler than it already was.

I bit my lip as I dropped my gaze. "Hi." I whispered and I could hear the gravel in my voice at the first words of today.

I let the door fall shut behind me as Alice crossed the room in a few short strides and hugged me tightly to her small frame. I wound my arms around her shoulders trying to get rid of any space between us. I put my face in her hair kissing the top of her head as she sighed against my chest. My body seemed to relax in her presence like my body missed her body and now knew we were together.

"I missed you." I mumbled into her soft black spikes.

"I'm sorry about yesterday I should have told you…" Alice drawled quickly and I calmly shushed her.

"Shhhh…it's okay I know you made the right choice," I decided to try and move conversation to happier things. "So when do they let you out of this place." I lifted my head looking her in the eye with a smile.

"I should be able to get out later today, but I'm not allowed to do anything to strenuous."

"Damn there go my cliff diving plans." I laughed as I let go but as soon as I did my arms started to ache. Alice sat on the bed and I took my place on the chair. I wondered where Reilly was but I didn't want to ask. "So does this mean I can take you out on a real date soon?"

"I like our dates." Alice pouted.

I couldn't help but smile at her reaction as I did to but it would be nice to go out. "Yeah but still it'll be nice to go for dinner and to the movies and…"

"Shopping?" Alice cut in with a look of pure excitement.

I felt my eyes actually search for an escape. "Or you know we could stay home."

Our conversation was quickly broken by a knock at the door as Esme came in and she was holding Reilly close to her chest. He looked to be sleeping as his little eyelids fluttered shut.

"Hey mom where's Rose?"

"She went with Emmett to get a car seat apparently that was Emmett's one job." Esme tutted and I couldn't help but think that's just like Emmett.

"Do you want to hold him?" Esme asked me and I was unsure if I should.

"Sure." I got up and gently put my hand under his head then placed my arm under his body being careful not to wake him. He didn't seem to notice the exchange at all as he continued to be off in dreamland. I wonder what babies dream about?

I leaned against the edge of the bed and Esme reached for a camera. Why would she want a picture of me?

"You two get together." Esme motioned and I felt Alice move behind me as she wrapped her arms high on my shoulder and leaned forward so we were almost cheek-to-cheek. The flash went off and I think all I saw was white for a second as I blinked it away. Esme took a few more but then put it away. I gave Reilly back to Esme and I think she left to show him off a little more.

"Esme loves to show him off she thinks he's the cutest baby to ever live." Alice sighed dramatically.

"He is, he gets it from you." I laughed as I moved to site beside Alice on the bed taking her hand in mine and mindlessly intertwining our fingers. "Is it hard for you? Letting him go after all this time."

"Yes and no…he's still part of the family I'm still going to see him all the time."

Xxx

It had been a few weeks since Alice had gotten out of hospital and everything was fine. I hadn't seen Reilly with Rosalie and Emmett living in Seattle and I had started to miss the little guy. I tried to focus back on my book but there was a light knock at the door as Alice came in and I had the weirdest feeling of Déjà vu but brushed it off. Alice hung out here a lot, I think Charlie was starting to like her more than me but I could understand why. She sat on the bed as no words were exchanged and I pretended to continue reading.

"I have something for you," Alice Said quietly.

I put the book down and noticed that she did have something in the hand. I sat up on crossed legs and she put the present in my lap. I was slightly confused as it wasn't my birthday or Christmas or any other holiday I knew of. I picked up the present analyzing the rectangular shape and the slight weight it had. The wrapping paper was green and stripy and I had to hold back from shaking it.

"What's it for?" I asked excitedly

"It's for you," Alice rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Open it."

I tore of the paper with one swoop and I was it was a photo frame simple and black but inside the frame was the photo of Alice, Reilly and I at the hospital and Alice has her arms around me as I'm holding Reilly. It was a great photo I ran my thumb against the edge of the frame as I tried to remember the moment.

"It's a family photo."

**A/N- the end:} Thanks for reading, I don't know if you saw the Rosalie thing coming. I could probably add a bit more but I think it ends nicely there. I'm wondering if the endings to sappy but hey I'm a bit of a sap:) **


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